Good... And Good for You

so, it turns out my grandfather did not have a secret family in germany. i know i should be happy about it, but all i can think about is how the potentially greatest chapter of my currently unwritten memoirs will now never be written. and how the title of my memoirs, "kat: nazi hunter," has lost the touch of irony that was sure to make it a best seller.

sixish+ months ago, i was watching "60 minutes" with my dad and there was a story about people who don't have the facial recognition part of their brain so they don't have the ability to recognize anybody. ever. not even their children. it was sad. they quizzed the non-recognizers by holding up pictures of famous people like martin luther king, jr. and george clooney, etc. and the poor, non-recognizers knew not a one. and neither did my dad (which made me feel slightly more forgiving towards him regarding the time i had a five minute conversation with him at the bank and it turned out he didn't know who i was (but (silver lining) he was still very nice to me)). like, seriously. he didn't know anybody. and every time they held up a picture of a black guy, he would guess jesse jackson, which was never the right answer. THEN they moved on to the people on the opposite side of the spectrum, a super recognizer, who remembers every face. it was also kind of sad

the main reason i try not to do anything ironically is that i'm forgetful and if i do something often enough, i forget i'm doing it ironically and it becomes an actual thing. forgotten irony is the reason i say, "keepin' it real." it's why i make a pouty, fish face when i dance. and, oh gosh, it's why i dance the way i do. the running man? why am i always doing the running man?? it's the reason for the nonstop dialogue i provide for animals. i now have full-on, two-sided conversations with ziggy. it's one mother-issue away from being norman bates-ian. it's to blame for the hair feathers i wear. and my neon everything. AND my punk, 80s makeup (i'm 31!). and the fact that i've seen every episode of "dawson's creek." ...ahem... and "that's so raven." all i'm saying is that i don't wear irony well. or, i don't wear it ironically. or whatever.