Good... And Good for You

by the end of last year, i was basically doing a non stop "i hate 2008!" chant, mostly because i enjoy rhyming. those of you who know me well probably got to see me do it. i imagine that while doing so, i looked something like this... erhm...anyways. in some ways this year has been harder, but in the final tallying, this year has had some pretty great high points and since i feel the new year looming, i think it's time to list 2,009 things that made the year 2009 awesome. and when i say i'm going to list 2,009 things... i am lying. i will never be that thankful. also, i will never have an attention span that intense. top travels: dublin, san francisco top moment: flight of the conchords in concert, sundance film festival. top tv finds: truly interesting people don't watch tv because it's a waste of time and instead of watching fictional people do interesting things, we should all be out doing interesting things ourselves... whatever, i love tv. th...

9 years ago, i was a sophmore in college and i was not happy about it and i will tell you why in great detail because there is nothing more important than delving into the trials of the nineteen year old co-ed. kidding. because there is, of course, nothing to delve. my first day back at college i almost consciously decided i hated my roommates and my apartment and my neighbors who just happened to be the cool kids from my high school and the boy who didn't love me even a little. i hated them all. after about thirty seconds. all i can say is it seemed completely rational at the time. the upside of hating my roommates and apartment and neighbors and boy who didn't love me even a little was that campus became a refuge. after class, i'd spend the day hidden away at a corner cubical in the basement of the library with fresh bread from the campus bakery and a bottle of apple juice and my homework and my walkman which basically played "every breath you take: the classi...

autoimmune hemolytic anemia. i googled "cocker spaniel blood disease" and that's what popped up. in any case, that's what my parents' (mom's) dog has. she's had it forfreakingever and as i understand it, up to this point it simply means she takes steroids and gets to live life as the most spoiled creature on planet earth. last week little daisy crashed and ended up having to get a blood transfusion. and now she gets super high doses of steroids and daily blood tests at the vet. i've taken her to the vet a few times and have come to the very black and white conclusion that there are two types of people;* animal people and not animal people. the animal people read "little daisy crashed" and had some sort of sympathetic aww-ish sound go through their head. the not animal people read "blood transfusion" and thought "they paid to give a blood transfusion to a dog ??" you know, and there is no right or wrong. except for th...

i had a very serious conversation with my car radio this morning as i drove to work. the man on the radio told me a recent survey shows that, compared to years past, drastically less people believe global warming is a serious issue. radio man asked me, "has your opinion about global warming changed in the last year? why don't you think global warming is a serious issue anymore?" " because i am driving to work in a snow storm right now!! ga a a a!! where am i? am i in lehi? what is happening? ? ", i calmly and attractively replied. sanity is such a relative term.

halloween is high up on my top 40 list. top 40 list referring to rad yes, i'm bringing "rad" back * ness and not pop songs. and also, there isn't an actual list because i'm making this all up as i type. i'm trying to find a find a fancy way to tell you that i really enjoy halloween. it's rad! and i seriously wish there were other yearly occasions where people would costume up because if i walk into a costume party i can tell you in the first two minutes who i want to roll with. halloween costumes make a group of people so much easier to gauge. they might as well be wearing signs around their necks announcing what they think is cool and i'm very interested in finding the people whose costumes say, "i'm awesome, ask me how." i've started as of 2 minutes ago when i started writing this making a list of the costumes i'd like to see at some point and it includes... dwayne wayne the karate kid shower costume the doppler effect is ...

during the space race in the 60's, NASA spent $11 million to finance the development of this... a pen. a pen with nitrogen and special ink making it usable in extreme temperatures, underwater, and without gravity. do you know what the russians used? pencils. okay, okay. that's a myth. kind of. the the nonexaggerated story is that the U.S. used pencils as well. they, in fact, spent $128.89 per pencil which (for some unknown reason!) people found ridiculous. NASA also saw the broken pencil tips as harmful and didn't want anything flammable on board (a rocket ) so they spent $1 million on space pens. i don't really know what the russians did. just roughed it, i guess. harmful pencil tips and all. i haven't decided yet which story is going to be the version i tell people.

one of the most inconsequential letdowns of my life was when i read "pygmalian." i was 17 and in a super serious relationship with oscar wilde. and what do you do when you're infatuated with someone? that's right, you get to know their friends. thus "pygmalian." also known as "my fair lady" except not because of the absolute lack of "by george, i think she's got it"/"the rain in spain"/"i've grown accustomed to her face" moments. let. down. age 17 was also the year i waited in line to see "phantom menace" on opening day thinking i was finally going to experience first hand "star wars" awesomeness. letdown. i mean, completely unimportant in the grand scheme of things but still. letdown.

i cannot, for the life of me, remember whether or not i turned off the stove this morning and since there's absolutely no way i can commute home during lunch to check, i'm doing the next best thing... obsessing about it. imagining everything i own being burned to a crisp, including the secret stash of cash i forgot to deposit when i went to the bank on friday. and then i start thinking about that scene from "the unsinkable molly brown" where the unsinkable molly brown- attempting to out think potential bandits- hides her piles of money in the stove. then i wonder how i'm going to explain to my mother that i burned down my grandmother's house and hummels. however, if i'm keeping it real as i'm not really prone to do, the only thing i'm obsessing about is the fact that my poor little dog is alone in the house and the first (and really only) rule of pet ownership is to not leave your pet in a burning building. in summary, some life advice: if you can...