Monday, May 03, 2010

humor. and whatnot.

i haven't posted for a good, long while. i doubt you've noticed but, believe me, i have.

actually, i have many, many half-written blogs in the docket but i haven't been able to get one to the point where i'm okay sending it out into the unforgiving internet maw. mostly because everything i write seems to quickly degenerate into a rant. i'm not quite sure who i'm ranting to but i am great at it. one of my secret/not-so-secret dreams is to steal andy rooney's job (another one of my secret dreams is to be one of the voice over people for kung fu movies (have you seen "drunken master"?)) and i'm proud to say that i am exactly one bushy pair of eyebrows away from living that dream.

today i'll try to de-brow for a sec and talk about friendship and i have high hopes of finishing my thought because both my hotmail and facebook accounts were hacked over the weekend (by the way, i am not in wales, united kingdom. also, i was not attacked and ripped apart at the park of my hotel although, if you think about it, that would have been lamentable.) and if i don't write this blog, i'll have to actually do my job (lamentable!).

more than a month ago i spent the day in san francisco.
not in a good way.
in a work way.
which means i spent four hours in the air, a couple of hours in the airport and 57 hours on the bart for a two hour meeting in a hotel lobby.
why are people never jealous of my fabulous, jet-setting life? am i not selling it?
three things salvaged the day... 1) the super duper mega sale at anthropologie, 2) the avocado egg rolls i had for lunch and still dream about, and 3) the book i brought with me. i managed to bring the perfect airplane book. entertaining, easy to open up and get back into every time i found myself on some form of public transportation, and in no way political or endorsed by oprah.
harold ramis- writer of "ghostbusters", "caddyshack" and "groundhog day"- is responsible for my favorite piece of advice,
"identify the most talented person in the room and, if it isn't you, go stand next to him."
okay. first things first, i want you to imagine the room where harold ramis is not the most talented person.
no really, i want you to think about it.

who do you even go stand by?

moving on. when i read that sentence, i was all, "mr. ramis, please." because that is how i live my life. there aren't many rooms where i fancy myself the most talented, intelligent, or entertaining person, and i'd love to say that i make up for it with hustle or moxie -because those are the qualities every cary grant movie is made of- but it's a lie. we all know i've never had anything akin to either moxie or hustle but! what i lack in hustle and moxie, i make up for in standing somewhat awkwardly in the corner. (just try and base a cary grant film around that quality. i dare you.)
luckily, i do have an ability i'm proud of. something i will now refer to as the "ramis principle." i have a knack for spotting awesome. in fact, in my mind, i get full credit for all the entertaining people i know because at some point i saw them, mentally dubbed them "awesome" and then forced my way into their lives.

now, you can try and tell me how, odds are, one friendly person will get along with another friendly person and i will want to agree with you but deep down i know the truth about my gift. because, yes, i can get along with most people until the cows come home and then i can get along with the cows, but there is a unique subset of personality that i revel in and being able to spot it and then go stand next to it is one of the saving graces of my existence.

do you see what happens when i don't have access to email or facebook?