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Showing posts from August, 2015

"Guitar Lessons"

Every week I give my niece "guitar lessons." I think we're making a lot of progress.

rejection

i have a really hard time dealing with rejection. and ya, sure, don’t we all? but even after 20ish years of liking boys, i just haven’t figured out the whole resiliency thing. i swear i’m trying. i’m trying to put myself out there more and risk being rejected because, frankly, the guys i’m interested do not notice me and i’m tired of going out with guys who are basically a yawn in corporeal form. when i say that i’m trying to be less ambiguous with the guys i’m interested in, i mean that i actually let them see that i like them so that when they don’t ask me out, i know it’s because they’re not interested, and not because i purposely ignored them for a month so that they wouldn’t know i like them. and then a year goes by and i’m still waiting for them to call me and say something like, “wow! i’m so impressed by how indifferent you are to me! let’s go out!!” so, ya, that’s my goal. and i kind of hate it. worst goal ever. because so far, i’m getting rejected. which makes

skit

a buddy of mine asked me to go on a group date with him tonight. i haven’t been on a group date since college. but don’t worry! they haven’t changed. a group of us drove up to millcreek canyon and made tinfoil dinners. five couples. four of the five guys live together (my date was the odd man out), and each of them brought a girl who was way too cute for them (my date was not the odd man out… kidding!). we made tin foil dinners and sat around the bonfire and chit-chatted and then there was a lull in the conversation. one of the guys said, “ok, ladies. we’re gonna do a skit for you.” and i laughed because, haha, good times. remember when we were 17 and did stuff like that? but then he was like, “okay, come on guys. let’s do a skit.” and the guys stood up and conferenced with each other for a second and then... well… they did a skit. and then they did a second one. and then one of the other guys showed us a game he learned in scouting. and then someone proposed tha

botox and bookclubs

a few months ago i won a free botox treatment. actually, i won either my choice of a botox treatment or a latisse treatment. both options scared me, but eventually i decided to get botox. i hear two questions come back at me through the internets. 1- why? and 2- why??? you guys ask such good questions. mostly because i can’t imagine ever paying for botox. i don’t mind wrinkles, especially smile lines. also, i’m in my 30’s so i don’t have a lot of wrinkles to worry about. but i’m curious about it. and it was free. so i decided to inject poison into my face in an attempt to hold on to my fading beauty-- for science. anyhoodle- i got 5 injections right between my eyebrows by an expressionless, duck-faced nurse  who calmly told me not to bend over or lay back for the next 8 hours so that the botox wouldn’t move around. i worry that maybe you skimmed over that paragraph. again, the duck-faced nurse told me not to bend over because the poison in my face would