Sunday, September 06, 2015

creepy

part of being a human woman is dealing with creeps. thankfully, in my very safe corner of the world, dealing with creeps is annoying and sometimes degrading, but rarely dangerous.

so as a human woman, i've developed a way to deal with creeps so i can move on with my life. i tend to cope by diffusing the situation. genuine creepers get off on a woman's discomfort and so i refuse to let them see my discomfort and i react as condescending and maternal as possible towards them. it usually works. most of the time i'm able to take control of the situation and extricate myself.

here's my example. yesterday, i went to the sheepdog trials in midway. and a random vendor came up to me and handed me an ipod, took my arm, and said, "come with me." he started to lead me towards a booth that said, "massages" and - because i hate massages-  i said, "oh! no thank you." and tried to hand him the ipod back. he wouldn't take the ipod and he didn't let go of my arm.
there was another guy in the booth who joined him and complimented my arms and my body in general.
i was creeped out, so i put on a friendly, patronizing smile and said, "thank you! that's so kind of you. i lift a lot of weights."
"ya? so you're like a body builder?"
"yep. i am a body builder."
"really?"
"absolutely. i'm incredibly strong."
"wow. that's amazing." the guy, by this point, had let go of my arm.
"thank you. it is amazing." i set the ipod on a table and started backing away.
"if you don't want a massage, maybe you'd like a lap dance."
"no thanks, but good luck to you." and i walked away.

it was a two-minute interaction that was creepy, but not threatening. and the only reason it stuck with me was because it happened right in front of my five-year-old niece. and while it was happening, i kept wondering if i should be handling it differently so that my niece's takeaway isn't that it's okay to be treated that way.

i don't have a conclusion or a point. except that, if possible, don't be creepy.