Monday, March 30, 2009

my goal for the month of march was to figure out the difference between "affect" and "effect".
i thought i knew.
but turns out i did not.
so i put it to you on this the night of march 30th...

dear smart people,
why is it wrong for me to say that something "effect"ed me? why?
i just want to be more like you.
thanks ever so,

Thursday, March 19, 2009

today i saw a preview for "knowing"

let it be known.
there is only one movie ONE! that nicolas cage has been bearable in...

... and that's basically because moonstruck's awesomeness eclipses the cage's weirdness.

so i ask you... HOW is he still making movies? who is his fan base? WHO?
i demand an answer.

Monday, March 16, 2009

will power

i react to stress in two very cliched ways.

can you guess what the first way is?

whoa, my lack of self restraint could really get me into trouble. it's a good thing i don't work at a chocolate factory.

... wait.

Friday, March 13, 2009

spEak You're bRanes

one blog i check out pretty habitually is spEak You're bRanes. it's basic mission is to mock comment threads. it's secondary mission, as far as i can tell, is to bring joy to my life.

the following post especially.
to my life.

"Thanks to Angel for finding this comment on a Times article about violence against women.

women are often as attractive and as beautiful as flowers(with brains) it is normal that they want to show the best of themselves through being sexy : it is the essence of feminity and real men like that .Those who dare hitting a woman are not well in their mind.Who would hit a flower
Didier, paris, France

I tried to explain that to my girlfriend once. She said I was a patronising jerk and then wept as she beat her tiny fists ineffectually against my manly chest."

of course then i read the article and the joy was ebbed.

Friday, March 06, 2009


being single is awesome. i don't really blog about dating/singleness very much because, well, first of all i don't have much to say about it, but mostly i worry that no matter what i say people will think that i'm lying or overcompensating or secretly filled with insecurity and bitterness when, seriously, i've never been more content and sure of myself than i am right now. although now that you bring up insecurity, the secret third reason i don't write much about dating is because guys i've dated or wanted to date or who wanted to date me sometimes read this and i can't help but imagine them sitting at their computer saying, "i could tell you why you're still single, heheheh..." and then my soul shrivels up a bit.
but i'm going out on a limb today because the only other thing i've got in my arsenal is a story about an impromptu square dancing party that took place during family dinner on sunday between mom, dad, carolyn, and mohammad while grandma and i stared in wonder, but i think they actually expect me to write about it so, you know, obviously i can't.

anyways, the limb. don't distract me from the limb.

i enjoy the luxury of being single. i like my people and my job and my stuff and when i see how hard parenting is (rewarding and fulfilling but, like, hard) it really makes me appreciate being able to focus my spare time on, you know, myself.
i truly never expected to have this mentality. my married friends are so happy and i always thought that being the single friend would exclude me from the happy. i had this picture of going to friends' weddings alone (gasp!) and wanting to kill myself. i imagined my sister getting married (and leaving me the ONLY single person in my family) with dread. but that's not what it's been like at all. not only do i get to have an easygoing and fulfilling life but i never begrudge my friends their happiness and if anything, seeing them get married and then seeing how willing they are to include me in their lives... there's just no room for self pity.
plus, i don't have to defend paying $100 to get my hair done.
which is why i can say to you ever so confidently... being single is awesome.

if i were to end here i'd almost seem put together.
but i am not ending it there.

because there is one thing that gets to me and it is this: blogrolls.
you know, the links everyone has to their friends' blogs. they always look something like this...
marcia & greg
jan & peter
cindy& bobby
bert & ernie
harry& sally
captain & tennille
homer & marge
rachel & ross
sid & nancy
luke & leah
buster & lucille 2
thelma & louise
starsky & hutch
george & gracie
smokey & the bandit

out of all the rational things in the world that should make me feel like an idiot...
...but ours is not a rational world.

so i'm ridiculous, what's new? but it's like couple couple couple couple couple kat.
who writes for
only herself.

it's not that i mind having people link to me, i love it. it makes me feel relevant. and liked. and pretty.
it's not even that i care if i'm the only single one on the list. i mean, ya, it's a little bit like i accidentally got put onto noah's roll call for the ark, but whatever, i have maturity enough to deal.
what annoys me is that usually the blogs aren't written by both people. if i get married, will still be my blog. i will still be writing only for myself. in fact, i'll probably have to add a disclaimer that the opinions expressed in this blog are those of kat and kat alone.
so, since most "couple" blogs are written by one person, the only thing the blogroll is doing is telling you who's married and in so doing it's kind of taking away the individual identity of the person doing the writing just because they're married. suddenly they have to speak on behalf of the coupled entity they've become and i mean, i know you're part of a super special marriage but you can still have your own blog.
yes, now i'm getting carried away.

yes, this is probably why i'm still single.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

must love blogs

now, i'm not saying i have an addiction.
i'm just saying that when someone opens a can of soda, i have a pavlovian response.
as in, yes, drooling like a dog.

speaking of things i hope you find strangely endearing...

this is what i see when i leave for work every morning.

yes, yes. a lovely brick house, but just like a "where's waldo book" (is that the best comparison i could've made?) you have to look closer...


"maybe you don't want to go." that is what ziggy's ears and forehead are saying.

so let's just add some things to the classified ad i hopefully will never get to the point of actually writing:
#1 must love dogs
#2 must love diet coke

and #3 must love the fact that i have a picture of ruben studdard next to my computer (he's my muse of the month)...