Monday, August 30, 2004

thanks, i feel much more abstract now

i keep on finding myself in weird juxtaposed conversations. nobody is making sense today.
usually i'd blame it all on my lack of an attention span or on my habitual spacing out at a job which can recently be described as nothing short of yawn worthy, but this morning i've really been trying to pay attention so i don't think i should take any blame for these dada-esque situations.

what would i give for a nice, linear, logical conversation right now?
man, what wouldn't i give?

Thursday, August 26, 2004

the important stuff

i have this mad desire to write a blog, the problem being that i have absolutely nothing of nonimport to write and i vowed long, long ago that i would never write anything important on this blog since i don't think i'd like proof that all my "important stuff" really isn't important at all.

Monday, August 23, 2004

"highk thkool"

my entire life is contained within my car... from bedding to clothes to the bright orange stuffed animal i rescued from apartment 35. i'm kind of a vagrant.
and so i went to salt lake and hung out with my parents.
and slept a lot.
and watched "back to the future". during which my dad turned to me and said, "i bet you think i was a huge geek in high school."
to which i responded, "no, i never thought that."
the whole truth being that i've never postulated anything about my high school dad.
which i feel kind of bad about.
because the even wholer truth is that i often do think about what people must have been like as teenagers. i have this whole theory that ben affleck never went on a date in high school. he was one of those kids who, after getting rejected for the 40 billionth time said, "someday i'll be famous and then you'll ALL PAY! [insert maniacal laughter here]" and then he did get famous and that's why he's a huge creepy jerk that i refuse to watch in any movie.
the wholest truth of all is that if i have to believe something, i'd rather believe that my parents were geeks in high school.

because then we would've been friends.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

rough morning

"where are my flip flops?
i swear, i just saw them.
i'm already so late for work.
for the love!
where are they?
em, have you seen my flip flops?
i hate my life!!!
where are they??

... oh.
i'm wearing them."

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

the wisdom that comes with age

a lot of people wish they could go back in time and give their 12 year old selves some encouragement. or maybe some advice. ya. i would definitely go back in time and give 12 year old kat some advice.
some fashion advice.

first i would tell me to never let a friend, relative, or random lady in my ward touch my hair. i would tell me to save up my money and go to a really nice salon where i would never have to deal with orange, streaked, or freakishly short hair. and i would tell myself to never EVER get a perm. (ew. i shudder in remembrance of... my fro. it was angry. it wanted to hurt things. it had a blood lust.)

secondly i would tell me to never buy a trendy article of clothing when i know full well it's ugly. i would cite specifically school girl skirts, capris, and body suits. (ew. again i shudder. in remembrance of the body suit/overall combination.)

most importantly i would tell me to wear my retainer. talk about 5 years of braces down the drain.

Monday, August 09, 2004

so psychatronic

i was watching some program on vh1 and some guy was like,
"pshaw... your mom blah blah blah."
and this other guy turned to him was like,

"hey. that's not funny. my mom died from blah blah blah."

and i sat up and pointed at the tv and said,
"hey!! you got that from me*!!"

i can't believe it took me so long to figure it out. vh1 is totally using me as their woman of the people/pop culture reference. vh1 is stalking me.

i mean, do they or do they not have a blog? what other proof do you need?!

i now consider it my duty, my privilege even, to mess with their heads.
by using nonsensical words like "neopocalypse"and "rhapsotropic". or maybe just "psychatron".
by wearing those HUGE driving sunglasses my grandparents buy. you know, the sunglasses that are so big they wear them over their regular glasses.
by going on the katkin's diet based on your body's need for concentrated minerals. you eat nothing but bacon on mondays and wednesdays, and go on a juice diet every friday. or maybe i'll start eating nothing but fruit rollups.

i'm open to any suggestions.

*and also liz and em. and, if you really want to get technical, ryan b. i can't take all the credit for the birth of the horribly insensitive "my mom died..." joke.

Monday, August 02, 2004

parentheticals (or more aptly entitled: "what it's like to be my brain")

my bosses are in disagreement about a box design (which pretty much means that rather than talking to each other (and coming to a concensus) they're telling me what to do (which pretty much means i've created 2 completely different sets of boxes (one for each boss))). the good news is that i get to go home in an hour (the not so good news being that i'm trying not to drink mountain dew anymore (i keep on having flashes of the carbonation eating away at my insides (thus giving me an ulcer, or acid reflux, or something like that (or maybe it's just rotting my teeth))). really, though, when you come right down to it, i should be quitting dr. mario cold turkey (i went to bed last night and every time i closed my eyes i saw little shapes falling down and it was DRIVING ME CRAZY!), but if i do that, then trying to quit drinking mountain dew on top of it all seems just a little excessive (maybe instead i should keep it simpler by refusing to go to that one 7/11 (where i always end up having the exact same conversation with the old 7/11 cashier man (re: he points out that i'm tall (and therefore no one will ever love me (except for him because personally he finds taller women "very sensuous" and don't i agree?)) and i end up leaving there feeling somewhat violated (although surprisingly still secure in myself (i may be tall, and weird, and kind of a bad driver, and a bit absent minded (like when i sometimes forget to wear a bra to church (and don't remember until i get up to bare my testimony)), and apparently have "happy hair", but i'm still quite a catch (or at least as superficially a catch as to negate the 3 superficial reasons why (in the old 7/11 cashier guy's opinion) i would be rejected by every man in america (besides him, naturally) and really how can you get insecure over pure superficiality?))))) to start with) because i don't even like nintendo to begin with) so this whole "less than an hour left" thing doesn't seem as do-able without caffeine in my system).
did that make any sense?