Friday, October 29, 2010

fall opinions

i hate election time. it finally occurred to me while reading through this year's voter information pamphlet that mostly i'm disappointed to never see sam seaborn's name on the ballot. tangent!: i'm so on board with "west wing" that it worries me. i'm afraid it somehow cancels out all my hard-hearted railings against frank capra movies. tangent!: also, jefferson smith is never on the ballot. (sometimes my tangents go full circle.) real life politics are all about choosing the lesser of two boredoms and what is the constitution party anyway? does it also have a elephant/donkey mascot? if not, i'd like to assign it one. i'm assuming the party members are obsessed with the framers so they'd either want the eagle, the dove, or the turkey. i'm going to suggest a combination. i give you...

the dorkle
i don't photoshop very often. can you tell?

i LOVE halloween. i will announce this every year as though it were news and i will announce it without shame. there's an episode of "freaks and geeks" where 14-year old sam convinces his friends to dress up and go trick-or-treating. it has something to do with either not wanting to grow up or not wanting to read "crime and punishment." 
so they get ready...
... and then, because this is "freaks and geeks", they have a horrible time in every conceivable way and sam decides he might as well grow up/read a book without pictures.
i had a similar* halloween experience in junior high- in fact, i think most kids have that halloween when they decide they're too old to walk around the neighborhood begging for candy- but i like to think that even though there are many things i continue to think i'm too old** for, i'll never be too old for fun. so 50 years from now when i show up at your door dressed as batman, i do not want to hear any lectures.
happy halloween! have fun this year.

*and when i say "similar" i mean it in the most general, almost dissimilar, kind of a way.
** the list includes: staying up all night, eating taco bell at 2 am, hanging up posters without frames, "lol"ing, "omg"ing and "wtf"ing.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

remember that one week where i blogged every day and i was really proud of myself because finally FINALLY the world was privy to all the fascinating things i had to say?
good times.
then everything got busy again "busy" probably isn't the right word but it will have to do.
i really wish i was the kind of person who can take stress and nervous energy and turn it into something motivating. something which, if turned into a cinematic montage, would involve scenes of me working and looking very serious. like, maybe i would take off my glasses and stare at my computer screen and then nod with approval at my own awesomeness and then it would switch to me running some sort of errand in an outfit drastically outside of any real person's price range but everyone would look past that fact, and then it would cut to me doing sit ups, and then to me at an interview shaking hands and being generally impressive and of course this entire thing would be backed up vocally by the incomparable chaka khan.
i've gone off message.
anyways, my reality is much more scattered, not necessarily useful in any way, and rarely involves sit ups. let's look at the facts.

accomplishments of the last month: 

1) i had a couple of job interviews, including one at a place i really liked. then at the final interview they asked me if i'd be willing to possibly eventually go to full time and i was not willing and i know i'm biased but if you put out an ad for a part-time job, should you be shocked if the person who responds to your ad wants a part-time job? the answer to that is yes, you can do whatever you want.
then they asked me about my career goals and that's when it really went to pot.

2) i had jury duty. it felt like a singles activity because everyone had to stand up one at a time and answer questions about themselves. we'd all sworn an oath, however, to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth... so in that way, it was nothing like a singles activity.
luckily, i did not make the final jury cut. thank heavens. 
and i was paid $18.50 for my time.

3) i learned how to knit.
4) and purl.
i now have 4 1/2 fingerless gloves of varying lengths and colors. i have yet to make pairs for any of them.

5) i decorated my house for halloween.
booyah!
6) i painted two pictures to hang in my house for halloween. one of michael jackson's "thriller" and one of the stay puft marshmallow man from "ghostbusters." neither of them turned out as magnificent as they were in my head but i'm amused each time i walk by them and that's basically all i need. 

7) i've been paying a lot of attention to the dog my next door neighbors have been watching. my neighbors are awesome, but they're rather notorious within my family for being our ultimate example of people who should not have pets. so naturally, i've been sneaking outside a few times a day to make sure the dog is, you know, being fed and isn't being left out in the rain right before the sun sets and temperatures drop.
i'm not crazy. my mother had me tested.

8) i bought some baby clothes at the dollar store.
9) and then sewed some flourishy things onto them so my sister wouldn't know i bought her baby clothes at the dollar store.

10) i've been trying to update my portfolio and i, of course, wound up putting a lot of left field pressure on myself to the point where i couldn't start anything because of how lame it was going to turn out and why was i so intent on ruining my future?? my future! it got really weird. i finally had to force myself to sit down and just paint something. anything. the first thing i could think of. 
what i'm saying is, does anyone want to buy a painting of a giraffe? 

11) i got sick for the first time in 5 years and whined about it profusely to anyone who would listen. even chevron boyfriend got an earful. 

12) i had it continually reinforced that when it comes to dating i am, quite frankly, dead inside. an example: at a church thing, i was chatting with my bishop when he disappeared for a few minutes and came back with a man for me. my new man explained that he'd spent the summer in the middle east and offered to tell me what that was like.
"nah, i've already got a guy like that."
then i asked him if he watched "30 rock."
he did not.

13) i made a latch-hook r2d2 pillow. 

14) i've been looking at wildlife volunteer programs in africa. 
ya... i don't have any rationale for this one. but if i ever get to write a blog entitled "christmas with the chimps" it will be a happy moment.

15) i babysat my 10 month old niece. 
she loves ziggy more than me and i'm pretty sure she will not be saying "kat's gorgeous" anytime soon.

16) i've started to come down with another cold and i am not okay with it. in fact, i've had more airborne and diet coke in the last 48 hours than i've had the rest of the year combined.
and i feel alive!!


this all makes for a different sort of a montage.