Tuesday, January 31, 2006

winner!



that's right. the ever elusive, long sought after "golden wuggie award" has finally found its way into my desperate, and kind of sticky grasp.

frankly? i'm honored.

Monday, January 30, 2006

pretty crazy

i love that we live in a world where, 20 years later, "ducky" could star in a semi popular tv sitcom.

with charlie sheen.

Friday, January 27, 2006

san fran

i got home from my trip to san francisco late tuesday night, and i think because i'm so used to hearing people who get home from trips say, "it's a great place to visit, but i could never live there" i've gotten into the habit of deciding on the drive/flight home whether or not i could live in the place i just visited.

i loved san fran.
and let me tell you why. in short, simple phrases.
urban outfitters.
china town.
kate.
the wharf.
asia sf.

and yes, the drivers there were maniacal at best and i had a near death experience in a cab...
... but i like walking.
and yes, there were a lot of creepy old men who in one instance wouldn't let me out of the hotel elevator because they wanted me to go up to the starlight room with them and in another instance said things like, "you're just my size"...
... but i don't think you can blame dirty old men on one city because last night at 7/11 a 37 year old man i like to refer to as "mr. creeperson" kept on kissing my hand and calling me "blondey".

to sum up, i had me a grand old time.
but when people ask me, "so... could you live there?" i have to say "no. no i couldn't."
because of one very specific reason.
that i don't tell people.
because they would laugh at me.
but i'm going to tell you.
right now.
even though you will laugh at me.
i would never move to san francisco,
because my hair would never be the same.


stupid humidity! why dost thou torment me so??

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

wimpy

stuck in my head: "school's out for summer"

reason 4 why finally installing the pull up bar i bought 3 months ago was a great idea (also known as "reason #4 why finally installing the pull up bar i bought 3 months ago was a terrible idea")...

my arms hurt.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

katastic

further proof that i don't have that much to do at work.

it's time to play "choose your own katventure"!
yipee! hooray!!

*if you have trouble with the links (hopefully you won't) try refreshing the page.
**and keep in mind that i don't spell check.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

set up

"kat, there's someone we have to set you up with. he's such a great guy. tall. 26 going on 27. just the nicest, smartest guy. the elder's quorum president in his ward. goofy and fun loving... we have to make this happen."

and the whole time this conversation is going on, all i can hear is the voice in my head yelling, "what's wrong with him??"
.
.
.
well, i don't think i'm cynical.
what's the opposite of delusional?
because that's what i think i am.
come one, if that description was completely accurate, this guy would be married to mrs. perfect herself instead of being set up with ms. quirky a.k.a ms. "i got in a fight with the drive thru guy at wendy's last week" a.k.a me.

there had to've been items omitted from that description. i'm sure the director's cut would have been much longer.
and would've included the part where he's afraid of commitment. and maybe has a clubbed foot.

listen, there are reasons why i'm single. i admit it. real reasons that have nothing to do with not meeting "the right one". i'm a control freak. i have a weird sense of humor. i'm an amazon. i'm strangely competitive...
so just tell me straight up what i'm dealing with and i'll probably be okay with it.

maybe he just moved here from a small european country where height and a sense of humor are deemed undesirable.
or maybe he looks like don knotts.
or maybe he's a mime.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

broke

due to some very sensical reasons (mostly involving me spending more than i earn), january is traditionally the most strapped for cash month of the year for me.
that's just how it is.
i've come to expect it. well, not "expect" in the kind of way where i plan ahead and avoid it, but in the nagging worrisome feeling in the back of my mind when i'm buying the perfect christmas gift even though i'm spending twice as much as i intended to but it's PERFECT and after all isn't this the season of giving kind of way.
i almost broke the tradition this year. almost. until i got roped into a 5 day business trip. i'm having my first experience with an expense account, which i gotta say i like the sound of, but the way it seems to work is that i keep track of everything i pay for and get reimbursed at the end of the trip which wouldn't be a big deal if it weren't january and i wasn't told to reserve four nights at the drake hotel and put it on my expense account.
so the tradition lives on.
now, it's no secret that i've gotten through januarys past by dating more. or to be blatantly exact, by shamelessly coercing guys i don't really like that much into taking me to dinner (the technique involving a carefully timed hair toss and the line, "so how come you never ask me out any more?") . i'm sure doing so was borderline unethical but i tend to throw my ethics out the window when i'm confronted with eating the canned goods my grandmother has insisted on sending me for the last 6 years. and besides, sometimes it backfired (re: the bowl of lettuce "date", and the abstent minded red robin dinner) so karmicly i think i came out of it okay.
but due to some very nonsensical reasons (mostly involving me putting together furniture, changing tires, and buying an electric drill) this january is different. this year i'm determined to eat those canned goods and if all else fails put to use all those tips i learned during a lesson on eating disorders which now that i think about it were supposed to be warning signs.
hu.

don't worry. i get paid on friday.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

dude, you threw off my groove!

don't worry, i finally watched "how stella got her groove back".

at first i related to the whoopi goldburg character. but then she died of cancer.
so i decided to relate to stella. who had it pretty good with the successful job and the trips to jamaica and TAYE FREAKING DIGGS.
to be blunt, i don't see that she ever lost her groove.

in comparison to me who, again be blunt, never had a groove to lose.

so i promptly stopped relating to stella and contented myself with telling the tv all the quotes i could think of from "emperor's new groove". and 45 minutes later, when that got tired, i gave up on stella and watched "the simpsons".

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

i gave her my heart... and she gave me a pen

stuck in head: "walk like an egyptian"

reason 15 why i love the 80's...

"YOU MUST CHILL! YOU... MUST... CHILL!! I HAVE HIDDEN YOUR KEYS!"
-loyd dobbler in "say anything"

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

2006

this year's anti-resolutions.
in other words, things i should change. but won't. because really who're we kidding?


stop drinking soda
wake up an hour earlier and exercize.
participate in a fully functional relationship.
stop watching tv.
stop eating out.
stop buying clothes. and movies. and bright orange watches.
go to the dentist.
get to work on time everyday.

i can't even imagine what it would be like to be that self disciplined, punctual, and responsible. with good oral hygeine.

but talk about boring.

so much for becoming "foible free kat". here's to another year of caffeine, love handles, dysfunction, "celebrity fit club" marathons, burritos, kitschy accessories, unfilled cavities, and chronic tardiness.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

nightmare

i'm so glad the holidays are over.
if i could do a back flip, i would do a back flip.

the other night i had a dream that i was in a crowded, "holiday rush" department store and i ran into paris hilton who said hi and then called me by the wrong name but then told me my skirt was really cute.
i was really rather flattered.

that's got to be some sort of omen.