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Showing posts from August, 2006

self googling

the love of my life introduced me to a game. so we're going to play it. the rules are as follows... rule #1: go to google.com rule #2: type " [your name] reminds me of" into the search. rule #3: remember to put it in quotes. rule #4: pick the funniest phrase that comes up. rule #5: put the phrase in the comments so i can read it. and laugh. kathryn reminds me of a g-rated "girls gone wild" video.

wow. it's a schooner.

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i stand before you with nothing to say. but look! it's a magic eye! oooo...

bad humour

due to an abundance of joss whedon shows and james bond movies, i've gradually become an anglophile. i love the brits. i love them for their royal guards who protect the queen by not moving or talking. i love them for describing slums as "dickensian". but most of all i love them for bringing the descriptor "firthy" into common use. or at least i used to. for the last week i've been working on some candy labels for a company in london and it's turned into a nightmare. after sending the buyer some samples, i received an ELEVEN page outline of all the changes i need to make to our labels' ingredient portion with " notes " like " the function of calcium carbonate must be detailed; it is assumed it is as a thickener but this should be checked- see also note 3 below " and " the following categories of ingredients are covered by the new requirements, if they are present in the finished product, even in an altered form: (1)all added

classy

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i bought a locket a little while ago. i've owned several lockets throughout my consumer based life. they seem so classy. like something you'd find in grandma's jewelry box. or on the titanic. now, when i was 12ish i owned a mickey mouse locket. which i admit was not classy. or even cool enough to be kitschy. but if that's the geekiest thing i wore it wasn't during pre-adolescence, then brava to me i had an abundance of vests during the ages of 10-13. i don't know why. i was like a mini paula poundstone . this most recent lockety purchase displays no disney icon of any variety which i feel already gives me an armful of fashion progress points. and this time i actually put pictures inside because lockets on the titanic most definitely had pictures in them. i pondered for a night and a day and a night a.k.a. 5 minutes about who i wanted to carry close to my heart... if that's not classy, then i don't know anything.

the ego has landed

yesterday, while laying on my couch watching a commercial for "jurassic park" during the enhanced version of "back to the future" i thought, "jeff goldblum! i am so in love with him!" and my ego said, "i have no response to that." and has since been giving me the silent treatment.

panda

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every once and a while there's a day where you go to work and realize everyone's either annoying or in a really bad mood and throwing bags of candy very angrily at the wall. and you, as always have a complete lack of anything ressembling a desire to work. you find yourself gradually turning up the volume on your new, birthday ipod nano so "no diggity" is the only thing your brain can process. you spend your work day goofing around on the internet and wondering if blackstreet thought they were being clever when they came up with the term "eargasm". and let's get one thing straight. you are content to do so. and a little bit numb. numb due in small part to lack of sleep and lack of diet coke in the vending machine... that's right. you're back together with diet coke. you tried to break it off. to turn your attention to other beverages which wouldn't hurt you, but in the end... you're weak. so very, very weak. ...but mostly due to the huge a

gonna sip bicardi

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i'm ready for my close up, mr. demille

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oh crap. What Classic Movie Are You? personality tests by similarminds.com hu. well... i guess i am big. it's the pictures that got small. **UPDATE** What Famous Leader Are You? personality tests by similarminds.com for the love.

flat

the scene: the side of the road. on an overcast summer's day in orem. a monday to be exact. chivalrous delivery guy (somewhat remeniscent of him but, sadly , not as beautiful) : do you need some help? me: [ crouched in front of car, holding spare tire ] um... [ looking at spare tire ] hu... [ looking at car ] wow. i really don't. c.d.g. (s.r.o. h .b. s. n.a.b.) : are you sure? me: ya. fin that's right. i know how to change a tire like i know how to... um... do other stuff... that i know how to do.

answers

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1. "you're gonna need a bigger boat." "jaws" 2. "it's never too late to re-tune your soul." "schultze gets the blues" 3. "we're alike, me and cat. a couple of poor, nameless slobs." "breakfast at tiffany's" 4. "my density has popped me to you." "back to the future" 5. "jump back!" "footloose" 6. "once you get to know me, you'll really like me." "i won't like you." "what's up, doc?" 7. "god creates dinosaurs. god destroys dinosaurs. god creates man. man destroys god. man creates dinosaurs..." "...dinosaurs eat man. woman inherits the earth." "jurassic park" 8. "personality crisis, you got it while it was hot. frustration and heartache is all you got. don't you worry" "new york doll" 9. "she is tolerable i suppose, but she's not handsome enough