Thursday, July 27, 2006

number 400 a.k.a. movie funness

i spent my down time yesterday doing this. (did pretty good)
and this. (did really good)
and this. (did very poorly)

and then i checked my answers here.

i had a glorious time, and the funwithmovies extravaganza helped me get through an otherwise hot and dreary work day that would not end (during a hiatus, i called my mother who, i found out through the family grapevine, is now convinced i'm going through "a depression". i like to think of it as more an emotional recession, but whatever).
may i now more or less rip those good people off by presenting you with my suggestions for a funwithmovies quiz 4...

















most, if not all, of these pictures should be very easy to identify (re: #7 especially. i mean seriously. it's picture of jeff goldbloom being chased by a tyrannosaurus rex. it's probably not "nine months". unless the t-rex is being played by hugh grant.) because i'm not trying to be tricky. nope. i'm trying to get through another hot and dreary work day that will not end (mostly because it started at 7:30).
i've turned the comment moderator on so you can all have the joy of submitting your guesses as though you are the first one to respond.
i'll probably post the answers on monday and give prizes to all my fellow movie geeks. that'll get me through another day i'm guessing.

i'm taking it one day at a time here people.

p.s. i'm lying about the prizes.

p.p.s. honestly. i'm not depressed. not even repressed. just really, really hot.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006


answer: scorching, sizzling, stewing, sticky, stifling, stuffy, sultry, sweaty, sweltering.
question: what is my office?

answer: unappeasing, unassuaging, ungratifying, unsatisfactory, unfulfilling, undermining, unpleasant, unpalatable, unmanageable, unsavory.
question: how is my job?

answer: romping, rollicking, relaxing, recreational, riotous, reparteeing, ridiculing, relishable, restful, rousing, restorative.
question: how was my weekend?

question: how is my life?

Thursday, July 20, 2006

conversing with the fates

hi. the powers that be?
yes, yes... i know it's been awhile... what was that?... well- um- thanks, you've filled out nicely too.
anyways, the reason i... what?... yes, i know i haven't kept in touch lately but... no, of course i'm not avoiding you... i've been busy, ok?... yes. busy... stop laughing... sometimes i'm busy... i don't get what's so funny... you always act like this... like what?? like an annoying little kid! and then you wonder why i avoid you... i'm sorry... no, seriously, i didn't mean it... i haven't been avoiding you... i promise... yes, i know that words can hurt... i really didn't mean it... hu? oh. ya. i did want to talk to you about something. you see, well, i mean, i understand that you're probably under a lot of pressure... and i know how much you have to do... and how hard it is for you to have to appeal to all the different little niches out there... what was that?... no! i don't hate you! that's not what i'm trying to say at all!... don't get so defensive!... gasp!... do you kiss your mother with that mouth?... listen, i think you're fantastic at what you do... i mean it... i, um, oh! i saw that they're remaking "the women" with, like, an amazing cast... every actress sounds perfect for it... so, you know, good job with that... oh! and i love the new ultra dark chocolate dove bar... you do great work... of course i mean that... i've always enjoyed what you do... it's just... well... i've been hearing some rumors and i just wanted to know if they were true... no, that's not the rumor... um, no. that's not it either... no! look why don't you let me tell you what... oh my gosh, really?... he did?... and then what?... ew!... ok. listen. i heard fantasia barrino, the winner of "american idol: season 3" has written her own autobiographical movie soon to air on lifetime... is that true?... wasn't she the one who revealed she was illiterate?... hu... no, i don't think you're stupid. i just don't get why you'd let her write her own movie... write and star?... do you even remember "from justin to kelly"?... what do i want you to do? i want you to explain what happened!!... no, i'm not mad at you. i'm just confused... yes, i know how terrifying simon cowell can be... and paula... no, i didn't know you stilled owed her for the "opposites attract" music video... yes, i know randy has lost a lot of weight, i just don't see what that has to do with... what was that?... ya. sure, you look great... "the zone"? wow, i didn't kno... twenty pounds?? that's great! good for you!... of course i didn't think you were fat before!... i didn't say that!... i never said that!!... sigh... look, i think i'd better go... no, it wasn't something you said, i just need to get back to work... it's not funny!... i'll talk to you later, okay?... i promise i won't avoid you... all right...

Monday, July 17, 2006


there are very few things i miss more about living at home than "inside the actor's studio".
i realized this during a family steak dinner where my dad finally got to use his new monogramming brander my sister and i bought him for father's day it was a momentous occasion last night, when my mom handed me an episode starring the talented, the incomparable, the wishlisty hugh jackman she'd taped.
i got way too excited.
i also realized this while i was trying to convince some friends it was imperative they watch it with me "you'll love it. the host, james lipton, has a huge pile of blue notecards with questions on them and he always acts like everything the guest ever did was brilliant! like, if johnny depp was on it, james lipton would go off about the genius that was 21 jump street . and then at the end he asks them what their favorite curse word is...".
i got way too excited.

but mainly i realized it when two of the three friends chose to go to bed at 9:45pm rather than watch james lipton coerce hugh jackman into singing "oh what a beautiful morning".
those poor, well rested fools. now they'll never know the beauty of seeing hugh jackman finagled into high kicking like a rockette, nor the joy of seeing an auditorium full of acting students both male and female trying to seduce hugh jackman with their eyes. nor the thrill of hearing incessant name dropping kind of like the name dropping i've been doing in this blog. think of all the google searches that will lead to me now!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

quirk #478

last night, instead of rolling my eyes and changing the channel to something like "i love lucy", i saw "the matrix" was on tbs and decided it was time.
not necessarily the most ground breaking blogclamation ever made, but i've never fancied myself groundbreaking so when i say i'm worried about destroying my "rep", that's not what i'm referring to. no sir, that potentially defaming tidbit is to be found in the "why" i decided to finally watch "the matrix".
"surely, you watched it for all of the matrixy goodness. the shooting and fighting and mind blowing idea that our existence isn't real!"
i love a good conspiracy theory movie as much as anyone (although i did not love the movie "conspiracy theory") but last night i had but one motive. to bundle up in a blanket, eat a bowl of cereal, and witness the phenomenon i can only call "pure keanuness".
it's a thing. a latest obsession kind of a thing.
i'm not proud of it, but neither can i turn away from it. some actors exude warmth, some depth, but keanu? he exudes that certain je ne sais quois. whatever. je sais quois! it's "keanuness". there's no other word for it.
some people say he's a bad actor. up until 2 months ago, i was "some people". but now i see it's simply his varying inability to hide who he is. and that, my friends, is beautiful.
my new goal in life is to study this phenomenon and learn all i can about it. to study this great man's works and rate them on my keanuness scale from 0 to bill & ted.
a-like so...

by the way, "the matrix" rated a 3. i was kind of disappointed.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006


yesterday, i acted as "head assistant in charge of projectoring and relaying audience queries" during a lecture given by my grandfather.
it was educational.
i learned...
  1. the renovated main library is amazing. seriously amazing. i want to spend countless hours there and hopefully acheive that intensely coveted classification of "bookish".
  2. there are a lot of world war 2 buffs in salt lake. and they like to go to weekly lectures at the main library.
  3. my grandpa is cool.
  4. like, seriously cool.
  5. he piloted 72 missions throughout world war 2 and the korean war. (that's a lot).
  6. he may or may not have saved charles lindberg's life.
  7. i'm pretty sure my grandfather could kick your grandfather's trash. and i'm pretty sure he could do it in a bomber plane.
and afterwards i was filled with this weird effulgenty feeling, and people kept on coming up to me and shaking my hand and telling me my grandpa was awesome, and i was all, "duh. i know." and that's when i realized i was pround of my grandpa.

that's all.

Sunday, July 09, 2006


my aspiration is to be a true dilettant, someone who "knows a little bit about everything and a lot about nothing". as a kid i knew i'd never be a cognoscente or a savante (or, you know, i would've known it if i'd known those words), and i was fine with it. i think young, preteen me wrote in her journal once that rather than being great at something, she wanted to be "okay" at everything. i wanted to try everything and to be able to talk about anything, and i still have that mindset. it's a mindset that suits my somewhat flakey personality, and challenges my naturally inhibited nature.
it's also a mindset that makes me really good at trivial pursuit.
what's the one thing that stands in my way?
i'll tell you.
all those interesting dates and fascinating places... i don't get it. it doesn't stay in my head. i've been researching world war II this past week (work is seriously boring), and as i read about it i keep thinking to myself, "i had to have learned this before. there's no way i didn't know this", but it still felt all shiney and new inside my head.
so here i sit, able to sing the canadian national anthem, tell you the pathagorean theorum, explain how the game theory relates to dating, explain the byzentine influence on art,
and still feel vaguely surprised to read that pearl harbor was in hawaii.

Friday, July 07, 2006

name that tune

quick! name the clash song!

All across the town, all across the night

Everybody's driving with full headlights
Black or white turn it on, face the new religion
Everybody's sitting 'round watching television!

I'm up and down the Westway, in an' out the lights
What a great traffic system - it's so bright
I can't think of a better way to spend the night
Then speeding around underneath the yellow lights

Now I'm in the subway and I'm looking for the flat
This one leads to this block, this one leads to that
The wind howls through the empty blocks looking for a home
I run through the empty stone because I'm all alone

Thursday, July 06, 2006

self portrait

i was feeling kind of sorry for myself today. so i put a little pollyanna in my day and played the glad game. that's when i concluded that even though i do nothing but stare at a computer all day, i'm glad i don't have my computer's job... stare at me all day.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

may i have your attention please

ladies and gentlemen, gather round and read a tale of intrigue and joy.
sit up in your seats and pay attention because, trust me, you do not want to miss this:

yesterday at around 2:07 pm, i was told i was... athletic.

my whole life has merely been prelude to that beautiful moment.

Sunday, July 02, 2006


stuck in my head: "let's stay together", al green.

reason 4 why time lapse photography freaks me out...

watching a plant grow, blossom, and die within 30 seconds.
it's unnerving.
and it inevitably makes me think about myself (as everything does, which is the luxury and curse of being completely self involved) and i realize that i have a time lapse memory. i remember all these"big" moments in my life and i see myself grow up right before my mind's eye and then i wonder what exactly i've done up to this point when i'm supposed to be all, like, blossomed and stuff and so what's the point of trying to accomplish anything when it's all going by so fast and i'm probably already starting to wilt...

and that's when the hyperventillating starts.

you know what else freaks me out, but in a good way?
vincent price.
i miss him.