conversing with the fates

hi. the powers that be?
hi.
yes, yes... i know it's been awhile... what was that?... well- um- thanks, you've filled out nicely too.
anyways, the reason i... what?... yes, i know i haven't kept in touch lately but... no, of course i'm not avoiding you... i've been busy, ok?... yes. busy... stop laughing... sometimes i'm busy... i don't get what's so funny... you always act like this... like what?? like an annoying little kid! and then you wonder why i avoid you... i'm sorry... no, seriously, i didn't mean it... i haven't been avoiding you... i promise... yes, i know that words can hurt... i really didn't mean it... hu? oh. ya. i did want to talk to you about something. you see, well, i mean, i understand that you're probably under a lot of pressure... and i know how much you have to do... and how hard it is for you to have to appeal to all the different little niches out there... what was that?... no! i don't hate you! that's not what i'm trying to say at all!... don't get so defensive!... gasp!... do you kiss your mother with that mouth?... listen, i think you're fantastic at what you do... i mean it... i, um, oh! i saw that they're remaking "the women" with, like, an amazing cast... every actress sounds perfect for it... so, you know, good job with that... oh! and i love the new ultra dark chocolate dove bar... you do great work... of course i mean that... i've always enjoyed what you do... it's just... well... i've been hearing some rumors and i just wanted to know if they were true... no, that's not the rumor... um, no. that's not it either... no! look why don't you let me tell you what... oh my gosh, really?... he did?... and then what?... ew!... ok. listen. i heard fantasia barrino, the winner of "american idol: season 3" has written her own autobiographical movie soon to air on lifetime... is that true?... wasn't she the one who revealed she was illiterate?... hu... no, i don't think you're stupid. i just don't get why you'd let her write her own movie... write and star?... do you even remember "from justin to kelly"?... what do i want you to do? i want you to explain what happened!!... no, i'm not mad at you. i'm just confused... yes, i know how terrifying simon cowell can be... and paula... no, i didn't know you stilled owed her for the "opposites attract" music video... yes, i know randy has lost a lot of weight, i just don't see what that has to do with... what was that?... ya. sure, you look great... "the zone"? wow, i didn't kno... twenty pounds?? that's great! good for you!... of course i didn't think you were fat before!... i didn't say that!... i never said that!!... sigh... look, i think i'd better go... no, it wasn't something you said, i just need to get back to work... it's not funny!... i'll talk to you later, okay?... i promise i won't avoid you... all right...
bye.