Wednesday, April 30, 2003

i don't know anything

a conversation i had yesterday...
person: where's liz?
me: i don't know.
person: is she in her apartment?
me: i don't know.
person: why did you buy artichokes at the grocery store?
me: i don't know.
person: how do you cook them?
me: i don't know.
person: where's that fella of yours?
me: i don't know.
person: how are things going with him?
me: i don't know.
person: how was "american idol"?
me: i don't know.
person: you don't know very much.
me: ...i know.

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

antisocial butterfly

i used to think i was a social person. oh no! turns out i was acting under a misapprehension. i am not a social butterfly type person. i am a recluse. all day today i've been doing everything in my power to get a little alone time. EVERYTHING!! i just want to sit on the couch and read my book, but people keep on coming over. i went so far as to lock the door, but i didn't have the heart to ignore the constant knocking.
i feel that i can type this entry without worry because i can say without hesitation that i would love a day long visit from every single person i know who might read this. to all of you i say, help me. help me!! take me somewhere. somewhere quiet. please... please.

Monday, April 28, 2003

i am an idiot

my parents took a vacation to las vegas and stopped in provo on their way home. as they peeled themselves out of the car we had the following conversation...
mom: hi
me: hi. how was the trip?
mom: good. you'll never guess who we saw.
me: who?
mom: guess.
me: sigfried?
mom: no
me: roy?
mom: no.
me: one of the tigers?
mom: this is someone you care about.
me: in las vegas?
mom: your dad took a picture with them.
me: oh. who?
mom: sarah michelle gellar
me: ...no.
mom: yes.
me: no!!
mom: yes.
me: wow... just...i...who...wha..wow.

cool story, right? my mom and dad met the star of "buffy". but then later, when i was bragging about it to emily, i noticed my mom chuckling...
me: what?
mom: nothing.
me: you did see buffy, right?
mom: yep
me: and dad had his picture taken with her, right?
mom: yep. she's doing her fighting pose.
me: cool. you guys are so cool. i didn't used to think you guys were cool, but this has completely changed my mind. i just want you both to know that i love you.
mom: hehehe...
dad: heeheehee...
me: wait...
mom: hehehe...
dad: heeheehee...
me: you guys aren't talking about going to a wax museum are you?
mom and dad: mwahahaha!!
emily: hahahaha!!!
me: hmph...
the end.

i suppose it serves me right. this was pay back for my april fool's joke i played on them. hehehe... now that was funny.

Thursday, April 17, 2003

the color of my energy

apparently the color that best represents me is...

"Champagne

A sophisticated soul like you is best matched with a classic color that's always tastefully chic. That's why Champagne is your perfect pairing. You're probably known for your impeccable taste in everything from clothes to music to restaurants. And it wouldn't surprise us if you also had an unparalleled ability to know just what to say or do to handle almost every situation gracefully. Don't get the idea that your simple elegance ever makes you boring: You've got a charming flavor that makes others hang on your words to the last drop — and you're not afraid to let your bubbly personality sparkle. Sure, you may get teased at times for your love of life's finer things, but you've got diplomatic skills that are likely to take you far, both in social, and professional, situations. So here's to you, Champagne. Cheers! "

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

complexities

i function so much better in the summer. i'm seriously considering hybernating next winter. summer kat is happy and friendly and easy going and sunshiney. winter kat is grouchy and over sensitive and always hungry and unmotivated. summer kat is good. winter kat is evil. this may sound a little extreme but... well... it should, because it is a concept which is both extreme and complex. i am a very complex person. sometimes i'm good, and sometimes i'm evil, and sometimes i'm... well there's really just the two. you get my point though, don't you?

pop quiz

i wanna be part of the club. can i play guys? can i?!

Saturday, April 12, 2003

Friday, April 11, 2003

overtime

i've come to the conclusion that my guardian angel was working overtime today.
picture this, i went swimming with em this evening. at one point, after having raced, i stood in the shallow end and talked to emily. i splashed my hands in the water lazily, enjoying the beautiful spring day. eventually i looked down and realized that i was enjoying the spring air a little too fully as my swimsuit top had completely fallen down to my belly button.
i screamed and pulled my swimsuit back up only to find that is had disintegrated and i was essentially wearing toilet paper.
here's where my guardian angel came to the rescue. even though she'd been busy all day keeping me sane, she still had the energy at this very auspicious moment to somehow distract the entire villa, thus saving me from pure mortification. i don't know what she did, but for those 30 seconds NOBODY in the entire world was looking at me.
tomorrow i go swim suit shopping.

Thursday, April 10, 2003

as good as it gets

life doesn't get any better than this.

Monday, April 07, 2003

good deed

after having a family lunch on sunday, everyone gathered in the living room to watch the final session of general conference. everyone that is, except for my grandmother who was hard at work scrubbing the kitchen. i wandered back into the kitchen and offered to do the dishes so that grandma could listen to president packer speak about the grandparents in the church. this is how my conversation with grandma went...
me: hey grandma, why don't you go listen to president packer. i can wash these.
grandma: no, no. i should do it.
me: it's no problem.
g-ma: no.
me: but you can go and listen and i can do the dishes.
g-ma: no. you need to hear the talk.
me: i can hear it from in here.
g-ma: no.
me: (trying to get in front of the sink) here. just let me have the wash cloth...
g-ma: NO! (i grab the wash cloth, but she doesn't let go)
me: grandma, come on. just give me the wash cloth!
g-ma: NO!! (i try and pull the wash cloth away, but she refuses to let go, and starts to shove me out of the way)
me: FOR THE LOVE OLD WOMAN!! let go of the wash cloth and go listen to president packer talk about how great old people are!!!
g-ma: NO! NO! (i start to shove her out of the way of the sink and finally wrench the wash cloth from her hand)
me: ah ha!
g-ma: i've heard it all! you're young!! you're the one who needs to hear these talks!
me: ya?! well you're the one who's old and nearest to death, so YOU need to hear the talk MORE!! (i start washing the dishes)
g-ma: if you wash those, i won't listen! i'll just go downstairs and SIT!
me: FINE! GOOD! GO! you stubborn old monkey!!
(my grandmother goes downstairs while i wash the dishes, the stove, and the counters.)

all in all, one of the best conference weekends ever.

Saturday, April 05, 2003

granny intimidation

i think billy blanks might be evil. i lost my taebo video about 7 months ago and rather than find it i just haven't exercised for about 7 months. but then a couple of months ago my roomates all got gym passes and so i've been feeling very guilty. finally, yesterday i went to walmart and bought a new taebo dvd. to reward myself for such good intentions i also bought "angel" season one on dvd. it seemed only fair. the taebo dvd is very exciting because it has an instructional portion, a beginning workout, and advance workout, and an 8 minute workout. i opted for the advanced... again i say, i think billy blanks might be evil. he has this minion who is particularly threatening. this little 76 year old woman. it's INSANE! she never stops. she kicks and kicks and then punches and punches and then kicks and punches. the 76 year old lady kicked my trash. especially when it came to sit ups, billy went and grabbed her by the ankles and pulled her into the air and she stayed in the sit up. it's not normal!! and this is why i stopped doing the taebo, curled up on my couch, and watched "angel" for 3 hours. ha! take that billy!

Wednesday, April 02, 2003

why normalcy will never be equated with me

10. i run into things... a lot.
9. i think tap dancing is cool.
8. i do funny voices for my pets (and sometimes for young children).
7. i have all the songs from "newsies" memorized.
6. i think that having a regular exercise regime means sitting on the couch, eating cereal, and watching "taebo" three times a week.
5. did i mention that i run into things a lot? i mean a lot.
4. i watch "golden girls"
3. i'm on the slim fast diet. i eat slim fast with every meal.
2. i have no sense of smell.
1. i have every single episode of "buffy the vampire slayer" recorded and catalogued

Tuesday, April 01, 2003