Friday, October 31, 2008

uhaul, math and photoshop

the good news is that i'm officially moved into my grandmother's basement apartment. the bad news is that three women in one house means no closet space.
it's basic math really...

but the good news is that i'll eventually have the closet to myself.
the bad news is i'll have a closet to myself because carolyn will be moving out.
but the good news is that carolyn will be moving out because she's getting married in january. at least she says she's getting married in january. i can totally see her eloping at some point in the next few months. actually, i haven't seen her in a while...

note. this whole good news/bad news way of telling things has gotten stale. i was listening to the "fiddler on the roof" soundtrack today and was kind of trying to copy the "on the one hand..." thing that tevye does, but i'm not really pulling it off. end of note.

in my short, young life, i've moved about 23 billion times. moving is good for the soul. it makes you reevaluate your priorities. more specifically it forces you to go through your stuff and decide if the sentimental value of an item is enough to warrant its packing, lifting and relocation. weight also factors into it.
it's basic math really...

this move marked an important milestone in my life because this was the first time i've rented a uhaul and a dolly and moved everything in one- i said ONE!- load.
and it rocked my world.
the whole uhaul thing was so momentous i took a picture of myself driving it.

yes, ziggy's on my lap. don't judge me. or, you know, judge me but not too harshly.
it's kind of an odd picture and i'm not sure why. it might be the uhaul euphoria (uhaulephoria) i was experiencing. or it might be the weird camera angle and the fact that i'd been up since 5:30.
you decide.
in any case i tried to fix it in photoshop but just made it freakier.

yikes. where did my nose go?

still, could be freakier...

... i know. now that you've seen this, i'll probably come crawling out of your computer moniter in 7 days to kill you.

wait a sec... okay, check it...

i'm a frank miller movie.

all right, i'm done.

Monday, October 27, 2008

...'ve upgraded to the 44 ounce, super big gulp size of diet coke because the big gulp isn't doing it for me anymore.

... have big plans to write a detailed, life changing blog about how i spent the weekend moving into my grandmother's basement apartment and it will probably include 5 thousand pictures of ziggy my official moving helper because i know how much you guys love it when i take pictures of my dog. just imagine what my blog will become once i have kids.

... 'm reconciled to the idea that 20% of what i say is original, 10% is me quoting myself and then laughing hysterically and 70% is me quoting or requoting a movie or tv show. and then laughing hysterically. okay. so i quote "30 rock" about 5 times a day. not different quotes, the very same quote. 5 times a day. to myself. because there was this one moment in some episode months and months ago where tina fey runs to the airport to apologize to an exboyfriend before he boards his plane and leaves forever but in order to get to him in time she needs to leave her sandwich and more than 3 ounces of dipping sauce at the security check point. what does she do? she stands at the metal detector and scarfs down the sandwich saying, "i can have it all!" and then she runs and finds the boyfriend and yada yada the end. i would link to the scene but youtube is officially useless. here's the entire episode if you've got 20 minutes and you're extremely dedicated to knowing why i'm laughing to myself. about 5 times a day (more on the weekends) i'm faced with a bundle of inane and- in the long run- useless things i want to get done but that conflict with the big and important things i need to get done. the average, normal, rational person would say, "dude, just leave the sandwich behind" but i can't. i can have it all!

... want you to know that i have two hundred thousand things to get done today at work but i wanted to write a blog today.

... can have it all!!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

dear the state of utah,

what kind of sick game are you playing??



Thursday, October 09, 2008

changing seasons

enter autumn

exit ziggy

see you next spring little buddy.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

peanut butter oatmeal

approximately 4.625 years ago a day in my life involved packaging candy, then going to school, then doing idiotic art projects for school, then designing stuff for work after school.
for very little money.
and i was eating peanut butter oatmeal twice a day and hanging on by a very tiny thread.
whatever. you know the story. you were there.

it was during this time that my zion's bank boyfriend thought i was two different people. see sometimes i'd be up in the front office at work so i'd be, you know... ahem... showered and when i saw him on these days, my bank boyfriend would be all, "what's up? how you doin'? where do you work? what do you do? are you dating anyone? right on!" and then i'd go home and eat some oatmeal and dream of pricey fresh produce. and hamburgers.
but then, one day i went to the bank after spending the day in back packaging candy and while my bank boyfriend was still courteous, he was extremely professional dare i say distant.
until he saw the company name on my paycheck.
that's when he brightened up and said, "hey! i have a friend who works there! she designs stuff for them. do you know her?"
"... ya... she's awesome."
that is the day i switched banks.

i've got the same thing going on now with my chevron boyfriend and i will tell you why.
on weekends when i'm keeping it real and wearing ironic t-shirts, chevron boyfriend asks me out and gives me essentially worthless stuff for free. but then on weekdays when i'm, you know... ahem... showered he asks me if he can set me up with his friend who really needs to find a nice girl. and i can't help but think about what kind of flinstone style double date i could have with chevron and his friend.

there is most definitely a moral of this story.
i do not know what it is.