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Showing posts from July, 2007

road trip

here is my point right off the bat is that a baseball analogy or a flying rodent analogy? wait. am i using the word "analogy" correctly? "reference". i probably should've used "reference". or maybe "allusion". -- over the top, small town friendliness isn't charming when you are not a small town. i mean if you're a truck stop in, oh say, sinclair, wyoming then yes, you should be shifty and crazy and desperate for human contact. i expect- nay, demand- it. but if you're a chili's style restaurant in denver , then why so chipper? i've obviously been in a car for seven hours, consuming nothing but diet coke and wheat thins and all i want is a fajita pita and the chance to stare into space and blend into the busy background. i do not want you to make guacamole LIVE! , i don't want you to bring the manager over to my table to say hello, i don't care about the time you spent as a teacher in iraq and i don't even rea

awkwardness, naughtiness and- sad to say it- balls

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my life as it stands right now is made up of one awkward vignette after another. i don't know why. i try so hard to be normal. i really do. i was answering phones yesterday while dingdong was at lunch. me: hello, insertrandomnameheresomybosswon'tfindmyblogandfireme chocolates. lady: ... oh... wait, what did i call? me: irnhsmbwfmbafm chocolates. lady: ... that's not what i was calling. me: what were you looking for? lady: the gas company. me: ya, that happens a lot. lady: you sound like a porno service. me: ... nope, this is irnhsmbwfmbafm chocolates. lady: are you a naughty girl? me: ... ... no. lady: you are, you're a dirty girl. me: ... ... ... good luck finding the gas company. click. and this is what i mean by awkward. well, not specifically. very few of my awkward situations turn into sad, lesbian phone calls. but in general, weirdness has been ensuing while i'm just trying to get my work done*. a few days ago i was trying to finish up the " droppings &qu

tangent

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for the intents and purposes of this blog, the onset of a tangent will hereby be represented by this... ... because even in the sitting at my desk, "it's been a while... i should probably write something... because if i wait too long people will stop reading my blog... and then they'll never leave comments... and then i'll have absolutely no purpose in life... man, i'm a loser... " phase of writing, i couldn't seem to finish a thought without tangenting into another one. here goes. not too long ago i went through the big box in my parents' basement of my childhood disney videos. actually, i stood three feet away from my mom as she, at my request, went through the box of disney videos because seriously, the box is in a very dusty and questionable corner of the basement and while my mother is full of that old pioneer spirit, i am not. i am full of that old pansy spirit. especially when it comes to spiders- be they real or imagined. i know this. my mo