Friday, July 29, 2011

an argument against democracy

a certain senator's campaign manager, who i really like (he's very grandpa-ish) (and he calls me "bright eyes"), came by the office to talk to my boss and, while he was waiting, said rather seriously, "kathryn, come sit down and talk to me."
"sure, bob."
i sat down next to him on the couch and waited for him to compose his thoughts.
"now... why on earth is a girl like you single?"

so much for getting my perspective on the budget crisis.

i did what i always do and joked around the issue and then smiled and nodded while he gave me dating advice, and then said, "i think you're absolutely right!"


so here's what i think, in a couple of weeks the congressman who might be challenging a certain senator in the primary is going to be coming into the office. and i figure i'll sit down with his campaign manager and have him/her give me some dating advice.

and that is how i'll decide who to vote for.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

old person tantrum

if there is one thing i have learned in the last 3 years, it is this...
thing i've learned #1: old people, like small children, thrive on routine.
thing i've learned #1b: do not mess with their routine.

so, random hypothetical, let's say you decide to go on your first vacation in, like, a year. and you're just going to be out of town for 3 1/2 days, but one of those days is a day of the week you usually visit a certain, semi-crazy old lady whose genetic material you share.
well, you have just torn that old person's routine asunder and nothing, not even trying to visit in the morning, before you head to the airport, will set things right.

thing i've learned #1c: when you break their routine, old people will try to destroy you using only their words.

old person: do you think you'll still have a job when you come back?
me: um, yes. because i'm good at my job.
old person: i don't know. you're going to learn the hard way how important it is to work hard.
me: ... i work hard.
old person: who are you going to san diego with?
me: a couple of friends.
old person: and what are you going to do?
me: i don't know. stuff. shop, relax, eat, visit with some other friends.
old person: no, i mean what are you going to do when you're 35 and you don't have any friends?
me: ...
old person: because these friends will be gone and you'll be all alone.
me: ... can't i make new friends?
old person: you should get used to being alone.
me: will do.

guilt is my iocane powder.