old person tantrum

if there is one thing i have learned in the last 3 years, it is this...

thing i've learned #1: old people, like small children, thrive on routine.

thing i've learned #1b: do not mess with their routine.

so, random hypothetical, let's say you decide to go on your first vacation in, like, a year. and you're just going to be out of town for 3 1/2 days, but one of those days is a day of the week you usually visit a certain, semi-crazy old lady whose genetic material you share.

well, you have just torn that old person's routine asunder and nothing, not even trying to visit in the morning, before you head to the airport, will set things right.

thing i've learned #1c: when you break their routine, old people will try to destroy you using only their words.

old person: do you think you'll still have a job when you come back?

me: um, yes. because i'm good at my job.

old person: i don't know. you're going to learn the hard way how important it is to work hard.

me: ... i work hard.

old person: who are you going to san diego with?

me: a couple of friends.

old person: and what are you going to do?

me: i don't know. stuff. shop, relax, eat, visit with some other friends.

old person: no, i mean what are you going to do when you're 35 and you don't have any friends?

me: ...

old person: because these friends will be gone and you'll be all alone.