Hairmoting
One of my all-time favorite movie cliches is when the main lady-character's hair perfectly mirrors her character evolution. Such as it is.
I'm not being ironic.
Okay, well, maybe I'm being a little bit ironic.
But I'm being ironic in that way that circles back to earnest so that neither of us can actually tell whether or not I'm being sincere and so we both walk away feeling confused and frustrated.
Now, we could totally get into a discussion about how a woman's hair has always been a means for symbolism in cinema and literature (I'm looking at you Scarlet Letter and Bronte Sisters and any other Victorian novel where a woman stands on a moor and lets down her hair in a moment of untamed abandon).
But we won't.
Because that's not what I'm about today.
Today, I'm about movies. And not good movies. No, I'm all about movies with the subtlety of The Rock flexing the cast OFF his arm and saying "Daddy's gotta go to work."
I love when a movie lady (Listen, I could say "female protagonist," but I'm not going to because the movies I'm talking about don't have enough depth to deserve uppity accurate descriptions.) is uptight and you know she's uptight because her hair is either stick straight or - my favorite- LITERALLY UP TIGHT in a bun.
Best thing ever.
But then, events transpire or hijinks ensue and by the end of the movie her hair is all curly and softly framing her face because she has learned to open her hair and her heart to possibility.
I'm talking Jurassic World, Moonstruck, The Proposal, Romancing the Stone, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Sweet Home Alabama, Wedding Planner, Overboard... and oh so many Fa La La Lifetime movies.
Seriously, I love a movie cliche in general, but I love this one. I love that hair and makeup people have to plan this out. I love to imagine an unwritten scene (an unseen scene!) where the lady character reaches for her straightener, but then pauses and bends down to open a drawer where she pulls out her curling iron and whispers, "Hello, old friend."
Now, I also need to give a shoutout to the sister of this movie cliche: When the main lady character starts off with curly, unkempt hair because she's a freaking hot mess, and then she gets a makeover and they straighten her hair, thus straightening out her act.
I'm referring to Princess Diaries, Miss Congeniality, Working Girl, Breakfast Club... and oh so many Fa La La Lifetime movies.
Okay, and yes, I'm absolutely mocking this idea, but there's also a part of me that is genuinely jealous that my hair doesn't emote. I have ONE look that I can kind of pull off and that look is a semi-curly thing with bangs. My hair has had NO character development in the last five years and I find that kind of devastating.
It would be amazing if one morning I woke up and looked in the mirror and my hair was stick straight.
I would be SO EXCITED, because it would mean that I was finally going to get my act together.
And I would watch that movie.
I'm not being ironic.
Okay, well, maybe I'm being a little bit ironic.
But I'm being ironic in that way that circles back to earnest so that neither of us can actually tell whether or not I'm being sincere and so we both walk away feeling confused and frustrated.
Now, we could totally get into a discussion about how a woman's hair has always been a means for symbolism in cinema and literature (I'm looking at you Scarlet Letter and Bronte Sisters and any other Victorian novel where a woman stands on a moor and lets down her hair in a moment of untamed abandon).
But we won't.
Because that's not what I'm about today.
Today, I'm about movies. And not good movies. No, I'm all about movies with the subtlety of The Rock flexing the cast OFF his arm and saying "Daddy's gotta go to work."
I love when a movie lady (Listen, I could say "female protagonist," but I'm not going to because the movies I'm talking about don't have enough depth to deserve uppity accurate descriptions.) is uptight and you know she's uptight because her hair is either stick straight or - my favorite- LITERALLY UP TIGHT in a bun.
Best thing ever.
But then, events transpire or hijinks ensue and by the end of the movie her hair is all curly and softly framing her face because she has learned to open her hair and her heart to possibility.
I'm talking Jurassic World, Moonstruck, The Proposal, Romancing the Stone, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Sweet Home Alabama, Wedding Planner, Overboard... and oh so many Fa La La Lifetime movies.
Seriously, I love a movie cliche in general, but I love this one. I love that hair and makeup people have to plan this out. I love to imagine an unwritten scene (an unseen scene!) where the lady character reaches for her straightener, but then pauses and bends down to open a drawer where she pulls out her curling iron and whispers, "Hello, old friend."
Now, I also need to give a shoutout to the sister of this movie cliche: When the main lady character starts off with curly, unkempt hair because she's a freaking hot mess, and then she gets a makeover and they straighten her hair, thus straightening out her act.
I'm referring to Princess Diaries, Miss Congeniality, Working Girl, Breakfast Club... and oh so many Fa La La Lifetime movies.
Okay, and yes, I'm absolutely mocking this idea, but there's also a part of me that is genuinely jealous that my hair doesn't emote. I have ONE look that I can kind of pull off and that look is a semi-curly thing with bangs. My hair has had NO character development in the last five years and I find that kind of devastating.
It would be amazing if one morning I woke up and looked in the mirror and my hair was stick straight.
I would be SO EXCITED, because it would mean that I was finally going to get my act together.
And I would watch that movie.
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