Wednesday, May 27, 2015

cute

i posted an announcement for a service activity on my ward’s facebook page. two seconds later, some random dude sent me a message…

dude: hi.
[i wait 15 minutes for additional information. nothing comes.]
me: hi there! are you emailing about tomorrow’s activity?
dude: no i just thought you were cute.



so don’t worry, you guys. all’s right with the world.
because i’m cute.

i know you thought i was trying to single-handedly plan and promote a weekly service activity at an assisted living center. i know.
but... c’mon. i think we can all agree that deep down i was really just hoping that someone would notice how cute i am.
because that is my goal in life at all times.
and honestly? i’m relieved that someone finally had enough courage and natural charisma to point it out in the most flattering way possible: a two-letter facebook message.
and -truly- i just hope my gratitude and, above all else, cuteness came across in my lack of response to him.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

failure

i don't fail. and i don't mean that in an "i'm so brilliant and talented" kind of way. actually, i should probably phrase it this way instead: i don't know how to fail.

i don't do things that i'm bad at. if i think i might fail, i don't try.
this is something that i've tried to confront in the last few years. i have forced myself to try things even though i might not be good at them. and it's been a really, really good thing because i've realized that for the most part, it's okay to be mediocre.
it's also been good for me because i've realized that when i put in the effort, even though i'm not brilliant, i rarely fail. having to put effort into something isn't a sign of weakness.
and i wish i'd learned this a long time ago.

BUT i've been doing my final round of paralegalness, which involves 5 mega tests. i've been putting in the effort and studying and trying... and there's a pretty good chance that i'm failing. i won't know for a couple of months, so i'm in this weird, freak out place. i'm only halfway through the testing, i feel like i'm not passing, all of my instincts are telling me to give up. and in the back of my mind i'm actually kind of curious to see what i'll do if i finally have to deal with failing at something big.