Thursday, September 27, 2007

apologies and whatnot

inspired by spliz's candid regrets, i give you a few, brief letters of apology:

dear arrested development,
i'm sorry that, just as in "la traviata", by the time i knew i loved you, it was too late to do anything but watch you die a horrible tuberculosisy death. you will forever be my violetta.

dear people reading this,
i'm sorry for referring to "la traviata" in the previous apology. it was a pretentious reference and frankly i've never seen it. i don't even like opera. i wanted to refer to "moulin rouge" but thought you wouldn't think me as smart.
especially since i knew i was going to use the word "tuberculosisy".
p.s. i figured out "violetta" on wikipedia. i did not know it off the top of my head.

dear stone temple pilots,
i'm sorry i forgot you existed.

dear dingdong,
i'm sorry i made fun of you to my old roommate.
mostly because it turns out she knows you.

dear car in front of me on the freeway with one headlight,
i'm sorry i tailgated you and then got in the middle lane and passed you and then cut you off.
it had to be done.
eternally yours,

Monday, September 24, 2007


last week my dinner sang to me.

it was a somewhat new experience for me.
yet it was undeniable, my entree was singing "mary had a little lamb".

so. i did what any carnitarian would do in my place. i stopping eating the accompanying fava beans, closed my eyes and grabbed my fork.
determined to hear nothing but the silence of the lamb sirloin.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

clap clap pause and clap

d to the e to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s
d to the e to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s

there's only one song that could possibly top the above fergie classic on the "songs that get into your head and make shoving a bic ballpoint pen in your ear and wiggling it around seem like the only rational escape"-o-meter.
and that song is mickey.
as in "oh mickey you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind hey mickey!! (clap clap pause and clap) hey mickey!! (clap clap pause and clap)".

three, maybe four, months ago several people from work gained potential access to my blog. so for the last 3 or 4 months i've been somewhat lackluster in my blogging attempts.

but there are really only 2 pieces of information you need to consider yourselves up to date.
first, i made a new friend. at a singles' hoedown (and yes, the proper exclamation for that is a simple "yikes"). claude. but in my mind i call him "claudio". he says very little and doesn't think i'm funny at all but i have decided we're friends and he needs to learn that you cannot fight a tidal wave.
secondly, i am addicted to the show "celebrity bull riding". it's basically the best show ever made ever.

now to get the fergie song out of my head.
sans bic.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

my life in pictures... ahem... picture

i'll be back to full blogsomeness soon. once i get an internet hookup for my cardboard box.