singleton

being single is awesome. i don't really blog about dating/singleness very much because, well, first of all i don't have much to say about it, but mostly i worry that no matter what i say people will think that i'm lying or overcompensating or secretly filled with insecurity and bitterness when, seriously, i've never been more content and sure of myself than i am right now. although now that you bring up insecurity, the secret third reason i don't write much about dating is because guys i've dated or wanted to date or who wanted to date me sometimes read this and i can't help but imagine them sitting at their computer saying, "i could tell you why you're still single, heheheh..." and then my soul shrivels up a bit.
but i'm going out on a limb today because the only other thing i've got in my arsenal is a story about an impromptu square dancing party that took place during family dinner on sunday between mom, dad, carolyn, and mohammad while grandma and i stared in wonder, but i think they actually expect me to write about it so, you know, obviously i can't.
CONTRARY!

anyways, the limb. don't distract me from the limb.

i enjoy the luxury of being single. i like my people and my job and my stuff and when i see how hard parenting is (rewarding and fulfilling but, like, hard) it really makes me appreciate being able to focus my spare time on, you know, myself.
i truly never expected to have this mentality. my married friends are so happy and i always thought that being the single friend would exclude me from the happy. i had this picture of going to friends' weddings alone (gasp!) and wanting to kill myself. i imagined my sister getting married (and leaving me the ONLY single person in my family) with dread. but that's not what it's been like at all. not only do i get to have an easygoing and fulfilling life but i never begrudge my friends their happiness and if anything, seeing them get married and then seeing how willing they are to include me in their lives... there's just no room for self pity.
plus, i don't have to defend paying $100 to get my hair done.
which is why i can say to you ever so confidently... being single is awesome.

if i were to end here i'd almost seem put together.
but i am not ending it there.

because there is one thing that gets to me and it is this: blogrolls.
you know, the links everyone has to their friends' blogs. they always look something like this...
marcia & greg
jan & peter
cindy& bobby
bert & ernie
harry& sally
captain & tennille
homer & marge
rachel & ross
sid & nancy
luke & leah
kat
buster & lucille 2
thelma & louise
starsky & hutch
george & gracie
smokey & the bandit

out of all the rational things in the world that should make me feel like an idiot...
...but ours is not a rational world.

so i'm ridiculous, what's new? but it's like couple couple couple couple couple kat.
who writes for only herself.
it's not that i mind having people link to me, i love it. it makes me feel relevant. and liked. and pretty.
it's not even that i care if i'm the only single one on the list. i mean, ya, it's a little bit like i accidentally got put onto noah's roll call for the ark, but whatever, i have maturity enough to deal.
what annoys me is that usually the blogs aren't written by both people. if i get married, kylily.blogspot.com will still be my blog. i will still be writing only for myself. in fact, i'll probably have to add a disclaimer that the opinions expressed in this blog are those of kat and kat alone.
so, since most "couple" blogs are written by one person, the only thing the blogroll is doing is telling you who's married and in so doing it's kind of taking away the individual identity of the person doing the writing just because they're married. suddenly they have to speak on behalf of the coupled entity they've become and i mean, i know you're part of a super special marriage but you can still have your own blog.
yes, now i'm getting carried away.


yes, this is probably why i'm still single.