i woke up this morning at 11:40 am. i want you to think about that. you see, i have a cold. something, nine out of ten people find a way to power through. but not i. i am in no way stoic. i find that when i try to be stoic, it ends in a meltdown with collateral damage and aftermath. to prevent the loss of innocent lives, i medicate. hard. and somewhere around 9pm i take a few nyquil and shut it down . it's my version of an induced coma. and it works. but i'll tell you what doesn't work. being wrenched out of a drugged stupor at 2am by a dog vomiting all over my bed. it's traumatizing and horrifying and also there's a 50/50 chance i hallucinated it.
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a story about how sometimes men are vastly superior to women...
guy sitting behind me: excuse me. me: yes? guy: are you ever compared to any famous singers? me: all the time. guy: really? me: no. guy: oh. well, has anyone ever told you that you look like colby calait? me: heh... actually, ya, once before. guy: i think you look just like her. me: thanks, i think. truthfully, i don't really know who she is or what she looks like. guy: it's a compliment. she's totally beautiful. [girl sitting next to him stiffens] me: wow. i'll take it then. thank you! girl: has anyone ever told you that you look like celine dion? me: ... um... no. girl: interesting. me: ... but you know what, celine dion's kind of awesome. and super thin. so i'm taking that as a compliment. mercy. [exeunt] important update!!: that girl had a point.
the other day i was at the gym, in the middle of my super impressive workout , when a man randomly came up to me and said, "you don't need to be here. the gym is for fat people." classy. i was put-off for obvious reasons but his little statement got under my skin and stayed there (and not just because he follows me around the gym now and watches me lift weights and makes me vow internally to never wear my lynyrd skynyrd t-shirt again, no matter how sweet home i think alabama is). a couple of days later i read this article in time magazine about how exercise makes people hungry so they probably won't lose weight. and then later that day, while i was at the gym, cnn had a feature story about how dieting or trying to eat right makes you gain weight. and here's where the soapbox starts. every girl in america has body issues. and if she's lucky, she grows into an adult who still has body issues but is able to ignore them most of the time. i think i...
misilanious
today, on craigslist... _________________________ looking for maggie (misilanious) Date: 2010-12-01, 12:58PM MST Reply to: job-bfngn-2089615598@craigslist.org [ Errors when replying to ads? ] looking for maggie you work at lacallie last valintines day this is a job offer i hope you can get this Location: misilanious Compensation: doe This is a part-time job. Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster. Please, no phone calls about this job! Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests. PostingID: 2089615598 ____________________ i hope maggie gets this too.