Good... And Good for You

a lot of people, when they meet me, ask me if i used to play either basketball or volleyball. because i’m 5’11”. and i hate telling them "sorry, no." because when i do, they always give me this very maternal, scolding look. like i’ve squandered my potential. and here's the thing that i can never seem to make random strangers understand in a two minute conversation: i didn’t have talent. i didn’t have athleticism. i didn't have the eye of the tiger. i had height. that's it. and my height was actually kind of a detriment because i never really got to learn how to play basketball or volleyball. i never got a chance to suck and have it be okay to suck. because everyone saw my height and assumed i’d be awesome. the first day of gym class, people would see me and pick me first for their team and when you're first-picked, even average skill is a huge let down. not that i had average skill. i had (have) one move. i call it "the king...

the other day i asked my 5-year-old niece, “hey, what is your resolution this year?” my niece: what does "resolution" mean? me: it's like goal. what's your goal for this year? niece: what does "goal" mean? me: it means, like, what is something that you want to do this year? niece: oh! i want to get magic freeze powers like elsa. me: ... well okay then.   now, before you start judging her for setting an unattainable resolution, i'd just like to point out that in two weeks my gym will empty but it will  still be cold outside.

things that must go. hashtaggers. you're killing me. married couples that look like each other. somewhat connected: married couples that look like each other and the wife is wearing her husband's clothes. people commenting on how tall i am. do you guys have something that physically defines you? like, when people meet you, you can feel them noticing that feature? everyone has something. my thing is my tallness. and sometimes i wish i could go for even a day without somebody commenting on it. meetings. i don't care what the meeting is about, it's a waste of time. just email me. people who ask me how i stay skinny and then look at me like i'm a jerk when i tell them that i work out five nights a week and i don't eat sugar.  all the geek conventions in salt lake. that's right, i said it!! comic con. fantasy con. fanx. it's too much. pick one thing and make it jam-packed full of awesome. ok. i'm done now.