Good... And Good for You

my halloween plans have varied from one day to the next. the most recent plan involves me sitting in my "jammies" with a big pile of candy, watching a scary movie. the only hitch? i already watched one. a gripping one. a wimper inducing, sit on the edge of your seat one. "finding nemo" to be exact. nobody warned me about how intense it is. granted, most people don't have a fear of the ocean. i believe this is because most people haven't been raised in a desert watching things such as "jaws", "20,000 leagues under the sea", documentaries on people who have disappeared down deep oceanic trenches, and most importantly "star trek 4". so, yes. this holiday's scary movie quota has been filled thank you. leaving me with jammies and a big pile of candy.

i realize that the following statement is the theme of over two hundred thousand movies and books but it still needs to be said... you can't get rid of a problem by ignoring it. it doesn't work, and it takes way too much energy. guilt, awkwardness, hurt feelings, you can push them down and hide them but it doesn't get rid of anything. so there you have it. i'm claiming this cliched statement as my own... ignoring problems= bad.

as long as taco bell makes the 7 layer burrito, i will crave it. as long as mcdonalds continues to make those tiny little sausage & egg mcmuffins with cheese, i will consume them. as long as baskin robbins provides the chocolate blast, i'll be standing line. as long as there are fresh value meals and frosties and kfc's mashed potatos and veggie pizza, i will do my part to eat out every single day. what's my point? i have to buy a gym pass.

i feel it's worth mentioning that during dinner last night my grandmother told a story about how she fell into her garbage can a few days ago and couldn't get out. i also feel it's worth mentioning that i laughed so hard i couldn't breathe.

traffic wasn't kind to me. on my way to salt lake it took me a half hour to drive 10 miles. while stuck in traffic on my way back down to provo, the sun was in my eyes and i inadvertently flirted with the guy in the car next to me. he, in turn, proceeded to follow me and give me the upward nod at evenly spaced intervals. it started to get somewhat creepy and off putting. and really frustrating. and then i snapped. i decided that i was on the side of good and traffic laws no longer applied to me. needless to say i got home in record time. and creepy freeway guy will hopefully always remember me fondly as "the one who got away".

i know it's driving you crazy that my comments have disappeared. i don't know where they went or why they left, but i'm trying to get them to come back. i'll fix it soon. i promise. i love you. kat.

10 minutes ago i almost died. seriously. on the freeway. two semi's sandwiched me in. i screamed really loud because i thought i was going to die in a really painful way. and truth be told, i don't want to die. i mean, i read my scriptures last night and i said my prayers this morning, and yesterday when i was really frustrated and wanted to swear, i didn't. so my soul's pretty much prepared. i'm good to go. but i want to get married, and live outside of utah, and (let's be honest here) have sex, and have baby's. and also, i just got a brand new guitar. i have a lot to live for. this is why i'm glad i didn't die today. this is also why i bought a 7 layer burrito at taco bell today. and this is why i'm not going to go to school today.

i tend to bond with my food servers- mostly because they bring me food- and i like to think that i'm more than just a customer to them, that i'm more than just a means to a $3 tip. the adorable taco bell cashier, casey from cup of joe, they all have a special place in my heart. however, i think i found a true soulmate yesterday at olive garden... berkley. berkley is funny and cute and fun to talk to. he referred to me as "intense". he sat down at my table and listened to one of my stories. he teased me. he brought me black tie mousse cake. i loved him. purely. intensely. deeply. and yet, eventually we had to part ways. and now i'm sad because i miss him. the thing is, with most of my pseudo friends, i realize that it's purely situational. if i met them at a ward activity i'd go, "nice to meet you", and ask them where they're from, and what their major is, and then i'd never think about them again. but if i met berkley at a ward ...