Good... And Good for You

... well... at least it wasn't "stretch". that's how you know you're playing sawyer's nickname generator and not kat's crazy knife wielding cousin's nickname generator.

me: "geez dad! why did your stupid ancestors decide to move to lame, unhappy america anyways?" dad: "religion." me: ".... oh... right... ok then." ____________________ me: "hey nicky! guess where the happiest place in the world is." nicky: "fiji!" me: no. nicky: "australia?" me: "nope. denmark." nicky: "really?" me: "yep." nicky: "hu." me: "apparently it's because they have low expectations." nicky: "isn't marijuana legal there?" me: "apparently it's because they have low expectations and weed." ____________________ ____________________ about a week ago i was cornered by someone at work- we'll call him " crazy pants "- who wanted to know what i thought was going to happen with our company's website and if i thought we needed a "big picture person" and didn't i think he'd be great in that capacity? and then craz...

when juan works at a candy factory juan, not surprisingly, comes into contact with, you know, a lot of candy. trade shows, neighboring companies, new products, vendors, sales reps... there's a lot of candy out there. and if juan grew up obsessed with, well, food in general but especially chocolate, then sampling chocolate covered espresso beans, dark chocolate/chili pepper candy bars, lava truffles, and even chocolate bacon bars would be a dream job. but even if juan has an unusually high tolerance for the wonderfully weird of the candy world, juan has to draw a line somewhere. and that line is the dark chocolate, fig, fennel, and almond bar. with two squirrels on the label. holding a fig. with hearts squirting out of it. did you guys ever see that episode of "newsradio" where bill is all, "juan knows these things." and dave's all, "juan who?" and bill's like, "not juan. one." this was kind of an homage to that. i'm looking forwa...

sunday alarm set for 4am i flew to anaheim sunday morning to go to a trade show. and let me tell you, it was all business. no really. work, work, work. that's all i ever do. no fun was had. except the fun of working and working hard. monday no alarm. miracle. i've only had one quasi celebrity siting in my life. and i don't know how much that one counts because nobody believed me. thank heavens i was carrying a camera around with me because the tradeshow i went to was a huge draw to the red carpet set. and now i have proof! here's a picture of people ogling dr. quinn medicine woman. and here's a picture of people staring at vanna white. hard. evidence. tuesday back in utah. 1. should i be worried by my familiarity with the wendys drive thru employees? 2. nothing says "i love you" like the phrase "wanna do it?" written in frosting on a chocolate truffle heart. wednesday got done with work at 7 pm. after i got off work my 40 minute commute to slc to...

my new favorite quote from a news article entitled cia's harsh interrogation techniques described ... "the detainees were also forced to listen to rap artist eminem's 'slim shady' album. the music was so foreign to them it made them frantic, sources said." been there. getting up into the triple digit ounces with my diet coke consumption. it's how i cope.

today is dingdong 's last day. and i will tell you truly i've been really upset about her leaving because seriously what am i going to write about? well i'll tell you what i'm going to write about. i am going to write about the other dysfunctional aspects of my life. that's right dingdong , go ahead and go because i don't need you ! we had a goodbye/happy baby lunch for her 5 minutes ago. select employees gathered in the conference room to eat sandwiches, a large chocolatey cake. scott sat down next to me and said, "kat! i have some good news for you!" "you do?" "i know someone who wants to call you!" "... what? " "not just call you, like, i know someone who wants to ask you out!" " what? who ? " "steve from w.f. [a neighboring candy factory. they specialize in gummy products.]" "...wait...who?" "he told told ron [our delivery driver] he thought you were cute." nicky inter...