who's on first?

when juan works at a candy factory juan, not surprisingly, comes into contact with, you know, a lot of candy. trade shows, neighboring companies, new products, vendors, sales reps... there's a lot of candy out there.
and if juan grew up obsessed with, well, food in general but especially chocolate, then sampling chocolate covered espresso beans, dark chocolate/chili pepper candy bars, lava truffles, and even chocolate bacon bars would be a dream job.
but even if juan has an unusually high tolerance for the wonderfully weird of the candy world, juan has to draw a line somewhere.
and that line is the dark chocolate, fig, fennel, and almond bar.
with two squirrels on the label.
holding a fig.
with hearts squirting out of it.

did you guys ever see that episode of "newsradio" where bill is all, "juan knows these things." and dave's all, "juan who?" and bill's like, "not juan. one."
this was kind of an homage to that.

i'm looking forward to comments from "hugh".
...
i'm boring today.