Good... And Good for You

if, like the rest of my family, you think it was nice and somewhat selfless of me to drive my grandmother home when she demanded to be taken home after only two hours of thanksgiving-ing, well then, you're a chump. crazy cousin once removed who is sitting at the head of the dinner table watching us all eat while he eats nothing. like, nothing. i'm still not sure why: you know, you can't even really prove that france exists. me, sitting next to him: what? crazy cousin once removed: seriously, how can you prove it exists? me: well, there are maps and pictures of the eiffel tower and i know a bunch of people who have gone there. like carolyn. who's sitting right there. ccor: but we saved their butts during world war 1 and world war 2. me: did "we"? ccor: and now all they do is bitch about us. me: so wouldn't you say their bitching in fact proves that they exist? ccor: [insert obligatory and poorly-crafted rant about 'nam.] me: ... ri...

as of a week ago, the 80 year old cowboy who lives next door to my grandmother and likes to comment on my italian greyhound and my legs (in that order) has decided to take it up a notch by replacing his cowboy hat with a formal, black top hat. i thought you should know.

no, not the band. although, i do believe in a thing called love. and you are more than welcome to listen to the rhythm of my heart. no, i'm talking about daylight savings. every year when i "fall back" into the darkness, a piece of my soul begins to hibernate. and the fact that it began to snow ever so gently the day after the daylight savings, well, that did not help. last monday, i pulled into my driveway after running some errands but before i could get out of my car, the power lines right above me started sparking. you know that electrical current noise? it's not something you want to hear right above your head. i backed my car out of the driveway and parked it across the street. then i sat in my car for five minutes staring at the power lines running up and down my street and i assessed the situation, calling upon my zero years of experience with the power company. i decided everything was okay, woke up ziggy who was asleep in the passenger's seat and crossed...

i wouldn't consider myself an avid reader. i like to read and i usually have a fiction, a nonfiction, and an easy book going at the same time which sounds very impressive when said in a condescending tone and when not followed up with, "but it takes about a year to get through all three and i have to do a lot of rereading to remind myself who the characters are." right now i'm trying desperately to get through a lincoln biography but every time i pick it up i have to skim through the first chapter to remember who all the people are and abraham lincoln hasn't even become a lawyer yet.   i just finished a really lousy anecdotal type book which made me want to write my own anecdotal book of rebuttals. it would be titled, "no, you are wrong" and it would be subtitled "and also you're foolish."   and then i'm still in the middle of the last of the "lord of the rings" trilogy. this has been going on for a while. i love the...

have you guys seen this ad? that's an amazing strategy. i have to ask you, doesn't it remind you of a moment on "30 rock" that i'm sure we all thought was satirical? i have got to get on board this crazy train... dear all you people who disagree with me politically, you could totally send me a message by not voting today. that would really put me in my place. really. yours, kat