Good... And Good for You

an irate russian woman threw a tea cup at the mona lisa yesterday. i think this will become my new standard of stress measurement. am i mad enough to throw a teacup at the mona lisa? no? then i'm not really mad. i've watched, like, every "end of the world"/"robot uprising" type movie there is this summer- i assume you've been doing the same (b.t.dub, one of the previews being shown is essentially doing nothing but giving credence to my cousin's theory about the apocalypse and because, in my mind, mayan calender nuts are just repurposed nuts left over from y2k and shouldn't in any way be acknowledged, john cusack and i are fighting. tragedy.)- and it's changed me. not really. really. i will never change. let's talk about it... 1. far be it for me to bring up a topic as incensing as gun control i hate guns. they should be controlled. but i think all parties will agree that in a post apocalyptic world you will have to know how to s...

on sunday, my family and i celebrated the 42nd* annual julymas and i like to think you were all celebrating along with me... in your hearts. the form my celebration took was to cook the traditional mountain of food and then eat it. sadly, i didn't take any pictures of the feast but i did make a quick sketch of what it was basically like... i'm very talented. *give or take.

i hate cell phones. with an "on fire with anger" kind of a vehemence. mostly because i'm awkward on the phone. like, painfully awkward. and then you add to that all the, "are you still there?"s and "... wait, what did you say?"s and the "hahaha... i'm replying to you in the most ambiguous way possible because i'm not really sure what you said and i don't want to ask you to repeat yourself AGAIN but i think you might've said something about your kid"s... cell phone conversations are a misery. but what i hate even more is that i CANNOT remember how people functioned before cell phones. my family didn't have a cell phone until i was 17 and i didn't have my own until my sophmore or junior year of college so i know i used to be okay. but i don't remember how it actually worked when i was running late or had car trouble or needed a ride. did i use payphones all the time? it bothers me that i don't remember.

last week, i went to the first of this summer's twilight concert series . it was all very impressive. from the flannel shirts to the crystal spiders to the solitary blonde effectively blocking the view of a whole wad of people by standing on a chair and trying to nonchalantly see who was looking at her (answer: all the people who can't see the stage because you're standing on a chair. that's who's looking at you). by far the most impressive part of the whole thing was jenny lewis, whose voice is much more powerful than rilo kiley ever led me to believe. i like music (possibly the most daring opinion anyone has ever posted on any website ever )(i'm a maverick ) but having as many audiophile friends as i do, i don't feel i can claim anything more than that. as it is i'm worried i might have to prove my likeage through a series of trivia questions and karaoke challenges. please. never put me through that kind of mental torture. the other day, one of the li...

the thing i like best about gardening is that when i talk to people about it, i get to use the word "literally" a lot. as in "yep, i have a garden, so i get to literally enjoy the fruits of my labor." because i'm growing strawberries. BAM! get it? ... it's fruit. thank you for listening.

i'm almost through my busy time of year. in fact, i'm so close with being done with halloween and christmas '09 i can taste it. and when i say i can taste it, what i mean is that i'm currently eating candy samples from what will be my next packaging project... nostalgia candy. i'm surrounded by all my most favorite candies from my childhood. don't worry, i'll list it out one by one. i'm talking about pixie sticks, pop rocks, ring pops, cry babies, fire balls, candy necklaces and fun dip and something called "zotz". i'm telling you, this totally makes up for the taj mahal themed gum drop label i had to make.

man, the weirdest thing happened last night. i was hanging a clock on my bathroom wall when i slipped, fell and hit my head. when i came to i saw this... i only wish i knew what it meant.

some lesser known rules of human nature... 1. my friends and i will never be able to finish a plate of baked goods because nobody wants to be the person who takes the last piece. we will however break the last piece in infinite halves. this is a real life example of zeno's dichotomy paradox . 2. in any given dvd commentary the word "genius" will be used 32 times. 3. a person's moderation, patience, and (let's face it) basic decency diminishes sharply the moment they stop communicating with someone face-to-face, ergo an otherwise normal person has a high chance of being mean and crazy via phone. here, i've graphed it out... my first job was as a telemarketer and i wanted to quit after the first fifteen minutes. but i didn't. i quit after 4 hours. which is why i have this sympathy for the telemarketers of the world. i have no problem sitting through their speech and required three attempts, and usually when i do they are so filled with relief they start m...