some lesser known rules of human nature...

1. my friends and i will never be able to finish a plate of baked goods because nobody wants to be the person who takes the last piece. we will however break the last piece in infinite halves.
this is a real life example of zeno's dichotomy paradox.

2. in any given dvd commentary the word "genius" will be used 32 times.

3. a person's moderation, patience, and (let's face it) basic decency diminishes sharply the moment they stop communicating with someone face-to-face, ergo an otherwise normal person has a high chance of being mean and crazy via phone. here, i've graphed it out...


my first job was as a telemarketer and i wanted to quit after the first fifteen minutes.
but i didn't.
i quit after 4 hours.
which is why i have this sympathy for the telemarketers of the world. i have no problem sitting through their speech and required three attempts, and usually when i do they are so filled with relief they start making small talk. today, after i updated our company address info for one of our free magazine subscription!s i had the following conversation...

telemarketer: what is your name?
me: kat
telemarketer: and what is your job title?
me: designer
telemarketer: really? i want to be a designer. i'm trying so hard.
me: right on. keep trying cuz it's totally worth it.
telemarketer: what city are you in?
me: salt lake city
telemarketer: would it surprise you to know that i am calling you from india?
me: no.
telemarketer: really?
me: really. what city?
telemarketer: new delhi
me: awesome.
telemarketer: yes, i am trying to be a designer but i was rejected from the local school-[life story]-free lance work.
me: ...[awestruck]... dude... that's rough.
telemarketer: have a nice day!

4. people always suck in their stomach the moment right before they walk in front of a mirror or large glass window.


ya, i'm totally making this up as i go along. additions?

Comments

Heather said…
5. Nothing in the world smells as good as fast food when you are about to eat it. Nothing in the world smells as bad as fast food once you have finished eating it.
The Chad said…
Bacon grease tastes amazing as a cooking oil. No one will admit using it as such, but the world needs to try it out more often. mmmmmmm clog-a-licious
Jay said…
In the light of all of modern technology, humans still manage to be less than bright. At least horses manage to know where they stand
Nama said…
With all the powerful and application-filled cell phones that can do just about anything available to us today, let's be honest. Everyone uses their cell phones for mostly one and only one purpose: to check the time.
I have nothing to add but I loved this post and the comments.