Wednesday, June 01, 2016

a rant, a point, an awkward story

my rant, supported by anectdotal evidence.
as an older, single lady, interactions with all men are a little bit awkward. because no matter my intentions, i'm "on the market" a.k.a. "open for business." so it doesn't matter if the guy i'm talking to is old or young or married or single or all of the above. if i'm talking and joking around, the guy might think i'm flirting with him, other third-parties might assume we're flirting, or i might actually be flirting.
the world will never know.
for example, the other night i went to a big group outdoor movie party thrown by one of my friends. i was standing around the snack table with a frenemy and a couple of people i didn't know and started joking around with one of the guys and one of the girls. then a girl came up and kissed the guy we were talking to and we all kind of dispersed. as we walked away my frenemy was like, "so you didn't notice his wedding ring, did you?" a question which suddenly morphed what i thought was a  two-minute banter with a funny stranger into me flirting and being rebuffed by a married guy.

my point.
my point is simply that whether you're married or single, there's a certain level of self control and adapted behavior that has to happen as you become stupid grown up.

i don't know what it's like for the married folk, but as an extroverted singleton, every once in a while you just have to say, "what the fudge" (tom cruise's character in risky business just rolled over in his grave. because, yes, he died of syphillis.) and do a little harmless flirting.
it's healthy.
and good for the complexion.
and good for the soul.

awkward story.
last night, i went to 7/11 at like 11:00 at night and bought a giant soda. as is my prerogative to do. the cashier was this really cute young guy. like, young. but really cute. so while he rang me up, i chit chatted.
looking at my giant soda i said, "hopefully this'll keep me going for another couple of hours."
"ya? why? what're you up to?"
"i have to finish a paper."
[surprised] "for what class?"
"oh. i'm taking a bunch of psychology classes."
"cool. i'm only taking one class this semester."
"which one?"
"rock climbing."
"that sounds fun. i've been thinking about taking a month of classes at momentum with some friends. are you climbing outdoors?"
"ya... blah blah list of places in the area for rockclimbing blah... it starts pretty early in the morning, but my dad has been really cool about dropping me off."

and then i got a pit in my stomach and blacked out until i got home.

i flirted with a fetus.


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