absentee

it's a well documented fact that i have scores of imaginary friends. not like, hallucinations or anything, just lots of people whom i encounter and then build an imagined relationship with.
i'm a socially awkward extrovert.
it's how i cope.

last night, i became friends with kevin the incense king. i know of his royal lineage because it's written on the side of his car.
next to his bumper sticker that says, "real men love jesus".
anyways, kevin the incense king lives in my apartment complex with his 3 sons who are always running around outside torturing each other. the other day i came out of my apartment and one of the sons sat dejectedly on the stairs. ziggy took the initiative and trotted over to lick him. "you must taste good", i said in a very non-creepy way (i swear). the incense prince looked up at me and said, "i just ate some cookies."
"oh, that explains it."
then a second prince came over and said, "i ate bacon this morning!"
"hu. be careful then because ziggy might try and eat you."
okay, ya, i admit it. that was creepy. (socially awkward extrovert.)

so last night, the incense king decided we were friends and gave me and ziggy a bag of incense. i will never know for certain, but i assume it smells quite good.

and now i'm friends with a king.
which i bet gives me diplomatic immunity somehow.


new topic.
i have the "compare people" application on facebook. two pictures of friends pop up with a question like, "who is more likely to bring about world peace?" and it's fun and great and remeniscent of every note i passed in junior high.
but.
every week i get emailed updates of my "strengths and weaknesses" from this very scientific process. and, you know what? fine. nobody i know thinks i'm "tough" or "studious". fine. whatever.
fine.
but how is "most absentee" a strength?
and what does that even mean?
that i'm not sitting in my friends houses when they come home at night? that i'm not secretly living in their closets? that i'm not popping around corners going "here i am!"?
or maybe that i'm absent from class? i graduated! i don't have to go to class anymore!
okay. most likely it means i don't show up to things, right? but i don't get invited to anything so how can people point out that i'm not somewhere where i wasn't asked to be in the first place?

let's move on.
this has nothing to do with anything.
but i felt spliz's photography prowress needed some publicity.
thanks for taking all the website product photos!
you truly have a gift...