Good... And Good for You

here is my point right off the bat is that a baseball analogy or a flying rodent analogy? wait. am i using the word "analogy" correctly? "reference". i probably should've used "reference". or maybe "allusion". -- over the top, small town friendliness isn't charming when you are not a small town. i mean if you're a truck stop in, oh say, sinclair, wyoming then yes, you should be shifty and crazy and desperate for human contact. i expect- nay, demand- it. but if you're a chili's style restaurant in denver , then why so chipper? i've obviously been in a car for seven hours, consuming nothing but diet coke and wheat thins and all i want is a fajita pita and the chance to stare into space and blend into the busy background. i do not want you to make guacamole LIVE! , i don't want you to bring the manager over to my table to say hello, i don't care about the time you spent as a teacher in iraq and i don't even rea...

my life as it stands right now is made up of one awkward vignette after another. i don't know why. i try so hard to be normal. i really do. i was answering phones yesterday while dingdong was at lunch. me: hello, insertrandomnameheresomybosswon'tfindmyblogandfireme chocolates. lady: ... oh... wait, what did i call? me: irnhsmbwfmbafm chocolates. lady: ... that's not what i was calling. me: what were you looking for? lady: the gas company. me: ya, that happens a lot. lady: you sound like a porno service. me: ... nope, this is irnhsmbwfmbafm chocolates. lady: are you a naughty girl? me: ... ... no. lady: you are, you're a dirty girl. me: ... ... ... good luck finding the gas company. click. and this is what i mean by awkward. well, not specifically. very few of my awkward situations turn into sad, lesbian phone calls. but in general, weirdness has been ensuing while i'm just trying to get my work done*. a few days ago i was trying to finish up the " droppings ...

for the intents and purposes of this blog, the onset of a tangent will hereby be represented by this... ... because even in the sitting at my desk, "it's been a while... i should probably write something... because if i wait too long people will stop reading my blog... and then they'll never leave comments... and then i'll have absolutely no purpose in life... man, i'm a loser... " phase of writing, i couldn't seem to finish a thought without tangenting into another one. here goes. not too long ago i went through the big box in my parents' basement of my childhood disney videos. actually, i stood three feet away from my mom as she, at my request, went through the box of disney videos because seriously, the box is in a very dusty and questionable corner of the basement and while my mother is full of that old pioneer spirit, i am not. i am full of that old pansy spirit. especially when it comes to spiders- be they real or imagined. i know this. my mo...

in the last two weeks i've come across/been referred to a handful of art blogs. i was going to post the links up in the corner (check it) but wanted to give a little exposition about them. about a week ago i came across this blog which lead me to my latest obsession... drawergeeks.com. they choose a new theme every couple of weeks and whoever wants to, submits drawings, and it kind of reminds me of some of the art classes i took in college except the themes are much much cooler. i was never required to draw my interpretation of indiana jones. ever. i was asked to draw an egg. an apple. a blender. a guy in a speedo... i also came across a couple of photo blogs like this and this . photography is one of my nontalents. i had to take a photo class when i first started the art program at the y, and i hated it. the teacher was mean, the students were harsh, but mostly i have no grasp for photography. when i have to take pictures at work, i would rather hurriedly take a picture and fix...

picture me . at a party. sitting alone. probably looking dejected . wondering where all the people i know have gone. and if i should maybe go meet some people. until some guy comes up and says, "hey." to which i virtually beam with relief. "oh hi!!" i say, "how's it going?" "um... ok... is anyone sitting here?" "hu? why no! so what are you up to??" "not much." guy picks up chair and leaves. picture me . at a party. sitting alone. and laughing hysterically.

oh come on !!

one of the weirder product lines i've had to design packaging for is our "droppings" line. chocolate covered nuts which have been cleverly renamed after various animal fecal matter. it is upsetting. mostly because my people were brought up to believe feces should not be cutesied up. plus the labels are kind of plain so i get bored easy. see? kind of plain. we put the droppings in a paper bag and no, the funny of that isn't lost on me and then we put the labels on the bag and then people buy them for a reason i've yet to figure out. it was around elephant droppings time when i started to get a little campy and design labels for my own amusement. first there was this slight variation... and then there was this... yes. yes i did find this way more amusing than i should have. and yes, yes i did print out these ideas and put them on peoples desks. and yes, in fact they did get sent with the rest of the actual label ideas to our california sales rep who's in charge...