kissing
ok. i started reading this article online fully intending to mock it, but now i've decided it's completely valid. it has to be written by a woman. a woman who i could be friends with. best friends with...
THE PROPER EXECUTION OF THE FIRST KISS
"Some guys have a natural, effortless mastery with women, but they are a minority. And most of the guys who are highly skilled and confident with women aren't usually motivated to take the time and caring to help other men become more successful with women. The way most of us learn how to "do it right" is by trial and error -- lots of error and always on trial.
All right Clint. Here is some priceless information that will make a big difference for you. The number one rule of proper first kiss execution is certainty that you have built a strong sense of comfort with your date before you make your move. She doesn't have to be in an altered state of blissful romantic anticipation, but she must feel physically and emotionally comfortable with you in general and particularly at the moment of truth.
Things that diminish a woman's comfort level are: any talk of sex or comments about her body, staring at her breasts, complaints about ex-girlfriends, driving too fast, an environment that's too hot, too cold or unsafe in any way, a lack of privacy, loud noises, obnoxious roommates, creepy insects, bothersome pets, and a dirty, dusty house -- to name a few. Talking about anything negative, whether it's how much you hate your boss or the last horror flick you saw, is also going to make her uncomfortable.
The way you build comfort is by keeping the conversation positive and light and by getting her to laugh as much as you can.
RAISE HER COMFORT LEVEL
Also keep in mind that as you're about to go for it, you may not feel comfortable at all. But that's normal. After all, you're the one who's about to risk rejection, not her. But all that really matters is that she feels comfortable; she has to feel comfortable or else forget it.
The other crucial key to proper first kiss execution is: don't say anything. The easiest way to appear suave and sophisticated when you first make your move is to do it in silence. For instance, imagine you and your date are sipping tea on her couch after the two of you have been out for a lovely meal. Try to get a couple of good one-liners into the conversation if you can. Then make sure that she's finished saying anything she might have been sharing with you, give her a big smirk of a smile, and then silently and sweetly, lay one on her.
Don't justify yourself, just go for it...
BE BOLD
Don't try to justify your actions with a compliment. Don't try to excuse or explain what you're about to do. Don't try to motivate her by telling her how much you like her. Don't ask her for permission to kiss her, which she will perceive as weak and begging (unless her Interest Level [degree of love] is off the chart from the get-go).
Remember, the classic male archetype of women's romantic fantasies is "The strong silent type." As my Uncle Jethro Love used to say, "You can't wind up saying something that lowers her Interest Level or her comfort level if you simply don't speak at all, now can you?" So be Mr. Nike, and without a word -- just do it.
Sometimes that first kiss happens magically and effortlessly, as if you and your date were actors in a romantic film with all the elements in perfect alignment. But more often, things don't flow so perfectly. Many times, going for that first kiss is like trying to change the dust bag on an old hoover; no matter how careful you are, things can get a bit messy. That's okay. If the Interest Level is there, she'll be happy that you went for it, regardless of any lack of elegance in your approach. To you Psych majors: when they like you, they help you and they give you the benefit of the doubt. "
THE PROPER EXECUTION OF THE FIRST KISS
"Some guys have a natural, effortless mastery with women, but they are a minority. And most of the guys who are highly skilled and confident with women aren't usually motivated to take the time and caring to help other men become more successful with women. The way most of us learn how to "do it right" is by trial and error -- lots of error and always on trial.
All right Clint. Here is some priceless information that will make a big difference for you. The number one rule of proper first kiss execution is certainty that you have built a strong sense of comfort with your date before you make your move. She doesn't have to be in an altered state of blissful romantic anticipation, but she must feel physically and emotionally comfortable with you in general and particularly at the moment of truth.
Things that diminish a woman's comfort level are: any talk of sex or comments about her body, staring at her breasts, complaints about ex-girlfriends, driving too fast, an environment that's too hot, too cold or unsafe in any way, a lack of privacy, loud noises, obnoxious roommates, creepy insects, bothersome pets, and a dirty, dusty house -- to name a few. Talking about anything negative, whether it's how much you hate your boss or the last horror flick you saw, is also going to make her uncomfortable.
The way you build comfort is by keeping the conversation positive and light and by getting her to laugh as much as you can.
RAISE HER COMFORT LEVEL
Also keep in mind that as you're about to go for it, you may not feel comfortable at all. But that's normal. After all, you're the one who's about to risk rejection, not her. But all that really matters is that she feels comfortable; she has to feel comfortable or else forget it.
The other crucial key to proper first kiss execution is: don't say anything. The easiest way to appear suave and sophisticated when you first make your move is to do it in silence. For instance, imagine you and your date are sipping tea on her couch after the two of you have been out for a lovely meal. Try to get a couple of good one-liners into the conversation if you can. Then make sure that she's finished saying anything she might have been sharing with you, give her a big smirk of a smile, and then silently and sweetly, lay one on her.
Don't justify yourself, just go for it...
BE BOLD
Don't try to justify your actions with a compliment. Don't try to excuse or explain what you're about to do. Don't try to motivate her by telling her how much you like her. Don't ask her for permission to kiss her, which she will perceive as weak and begging (unless her Interest Level [degree of love] is off the chart from the get-go).
Remember, the classic male archetype of women's romantic fantasies is "The strong silent type." As my Uncle Jethro Love used to say, "You can't wind up saying something that lowers her Interest Level or her comfort level if you simply don't speak at all, now can you?" So be Mr. Nike, and without a word -- just do it.
Sometimes that first kiss happens magically and effortlessly, as if you and your date were actors in a romantic film with all the elements in perfect alignment. But more often, things don't flow so perfectly. Many times, going for that first kiss is like trying to change the dust bag on an old hoover; no matter how careful you are, things can get a bit messy. That's okay. If the Interest Level is there, she'll be happy that you went for it, regardless of any lack of elegance in your approach. To you Psych majors: when they like you, they help you and they give you the benefit of the doubt. "
