the master plan!!
when i moved into my new apartment complex, i found myself never intending to date again. ever. i momentarily lack the mental resiliency and emotional aptitude which dating requires. (and when i say i "momentarily lack" it, i mean that i never had it.)
there have been signs.
sign, the first... yesterday morning i killed a suspicious looking spider (the task involving 1. 409 and, 2. jumping up & down and squealing). when it mysteriously reappeared on my bedroom wall that night i was fully convinced i was about to be the target of some renegade arachnid vendetta.
sign, the second... while filling in at the retail store- which, by the way, is completely boring and i suggest you never do it- i started to wonder if i was the mall equivalent of the ape exhibit at the zoo. i gawked back at my audience hoping to see someone i knew and had the strangest sensation that everyone looked familiar. is it possible that i've met every single person in utah valley? that i've been to so many provo dances/firesides/classes/stake conferences that i've seen everyone?? i then started imagining what kind of prize i should get for such an achievement.
sign, the third... i cried during an episode of "dawson's creek".
such signs call for drastic measures. hence, the birth of...
granted, the master plan(!!) is built entirely upon prejudice. my prejudice. against good looking men.
granted, i've become a looksist. a horrifyingly blatant looksist.
granted, if the rest of the world took up a similar master plan i'd be entirely friendless. i'd be this really, really pretty, friendless girl.
granted also, whilst congratulating myself on the brilliance of the master plan i had a random chance encounter with an old friend which led to a random chance encounter with the most avoidable guy in my new ward, which led to a random chance reevaluation of my master plan.
yet... still.
there have been signs.
sign, the first... yesterday morning i killed a suspicious looking spider (the task involving 1. 409 and, 2. jumping up & down and squealing). when it mysteriously reappeared on my bedroom wall that night i was fully convinced i was about to be the target of some renegade arachnid vendetta.
sign, the second... while filling in at the retail store- which, by the way, is completely boring and i suggest you never do it- i started to wonder if i was the mall equivalent of the ape exhibit at the zoo. i gawked back at my audience hoping to see someone i knew and had the strangest sensation that everyone looked familiar. is it possible that i've met every single person in utah valley? that i've been to so many provo dances/firesides/classes/stake conferences that i've seen everyone?? i then started imagining what kind of prize i should get for such an achievement.
sign, the third... i cried during an episode of "dawson's creek".
such signs call for drastic measures. hence, the birth of...
the master plan!!
swearing off human contact didn't seem healthy, or even plausible. swearing off all male contact seemed equally impractical. but swearing off all contact with attractive men? that's a healthy plan, a necessary plan, a master plan!! granted, the master plan(!!) is built entirely upon prejudice. my prejudice. against good looking men.
granted, i've become a looksist. a horrifyingly blatant looksist.
granted, if the rest of the world took up a similar master plan i'd be entirely friendless. i'd be this really, really pretty, friendless girl.
granted also, whilst congratulating myself on the brilliance of the master plan i had a random chance encounter with an old friend which led to a random chance encounter with the most avoidable guy in my new ward, which led to a random chance reevaluation of my master plan.
yet... still.
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