kat: based on a true story

i've come to accept that movies are exponentially better than real life.
it's because of the background music.
and the mantages. mantages are brilliant. i don't care what you're mantaging, you will not disappoint me.
and then there are taglines. one sentence to make people want to see the movie. i love it. i want a tagline of my own to use when i introduce myself, so people will be like, "yes. awesome. i must know more."

but until i figure out my own, original tagline i should probably borrow one and see how it goes over.
here are some of my favorites...

"kat: still the fairest of them all!"
i'm just telling it like it is. just putting it out there right at the get go. you know, because maybe the person i'm talking to doesn't have eyes.
that's right.
i said that.

"kat: nothing like it has ever been on earth before"
...powerful stuff.

"kat: she was everything the west was - young, fiery, exciting!"
i like it because it involves a simile and makes me seem literary. wait, i mean a metaphor.
an analogy?

"kat: there can be only one"
a statement that could make the listener disappointed or relieved depending on whether or not they find me annoying.

"kat: in gorgeous and shocking astravision and sexicolor!"
okay, so this might be the tagline of a 1960's horror/porn movie that was banned from finland.
and i might not understand what "astravision" is supposed to mean which, yes,- because it's a tagline for porn- makes me worry that it's some sort of nasty entendre i just don't get.
...but "sexicolor" makes me giggle.

"kat: the damnedest thing you ever saw!"
but you have to say it in an old man voice.

"kat: man has made his match ... now it's his problem."
don't think about this one too hard or you'll realize it doesn't make sense.
and also that it's not all that funny.

"kat: don't get her wet, keep her out of bright light, and never feed her after midnight."
this is not so much a tagline as it is sound advice.

"kat: be afraid. be very afraid."
and then i would do my mad scientist laugh.

"kat: don't answer the phone. don't open the door. don't try to escape."
i don't know why i would say this to anyone. unless i want them to think i'm creepy.
although i am kind of creepy so i might as well be up front about it.

"kat: the most incredible thing that ever happened is about to happen to you."
yes. confidence. yes. this might be my favorite.


as always, suggestions are always welcome.
unless they're lame suggestions.

i do not welcome lameness.