History Lesson

When i’m single, an “evening in” means watching a season and a half of, like, The Office, in a ratty, over-sized t-shirt that I’ve had since junior high, while I pour chocolate chips straight into my mouth from the bag.

When I’m dating someone, an evening in means watching an awesome 80’s movie like Last Starfighter or Superman, in my Dirty Dash t-shirt to fool the guy I’m with into thinking I’m active, and ordering a gigantic pizza.

And I’m assuming that if I were married and parental, an evening in would mean watching the latest Pixar, in a t-shirt that used to be my husband’s until I claimed it as my own, while I sneak away to the pantry every five minutes to eat candy that I don’t want my greedy little child goblins to know we own.

My point is... what the heck did people do before television?

I mean, I guess they probably listened to the radio. But before radio?

Well, they probably read books. And before books?

They died of dysentery.

I truly don’t expect any of you to’ve made it to this point of my stream-of-consciousness journey. If you did, you’re a beautiful human being and I love you.

Now go watch some TV.