rules

new rules to help me establish my happy apathy place
(in other words, how to become a recluse)...
rule #1: no visiting people, especially if those people are also boys.
rule #2: if someone comes over to visit, do not put down current project to give full attention.
rule #3: say no to all possible dates unless doing so would severely damage ego of fragile young man.
rule #4: do not stay in rec room after ward prayer to socialize.
rule #5: do not write 5 billion love notes to everyone.
rule #6: do not plan/execute toga parties, hot tub clubs, dinners, desert clubs, etc.
rule #7: do not call james. in fact, delete his number from cell phone.

i cherish apathy. i revel in it. it is my refuge from world that refuses to do what i tell it to.
have you ever read the book "you are special" by max lucado? i love it. it's a fantastic book about little puppets who give each other gold stars or gray dots, depending on what they judge to be deserved. at the end the woodcutter, the one who made all the puppets, explains that the stars and dots only stay on if they are believed to matter.
it's amazing how my two sentence summarily butchered such a sweet story.
i bring this book up because in a very strange, twisted way, that's what i'm trying to accomplish with apathy. it's my shortcut to happiness. or at least a compromise.
i don't want people to like me. i don't want them to hate me. i just want them to leave me alone.
let max lucado shudder at his book being applied thus.