a kinder, gentler... whatever

tuesday night, as i flew to san francisco, i had vague flashes of being a friendlier person. mind you, not a nicer, or better person... just friendlier. i used to find joy in making small talk with strangers. now i avoid it. like the plague. and i do the non commital half laugh/head nod/refusal to look up from my sudoku book thing whenever people try and initiate small talk.
so, ya, maybe i used to be a nicer person too.
the way i see it, it's not my fault.
it's that somehow the soul of andy rooney has entered my being and instead of finding joy in human contact, i find joy in observing and later mocking those i encounter.

i think it's time i turned over a new leaf.
yet again.
so long, old man rooney. so long.

but before i do the whole turning over a new leaf thing yet again can i just say that i don't see why gas stations make you pay to use their air pump thing. i mean, seriously, you're charging me for air? air??
selfish.
and why do some women insist on speaking with the sibilant "s"? it'sss like they think it will, i don't know, make them sssound sssweeter when really it just makesss them look sssilly. and also it's contagiousss-ahem-contagious.
but most of all, i'm sorry, 16 year old boy who got arrested for riding his bike after curfew with a broken light, that you got arrested. it's very sad and very lame. but i don't really feel right going to the courthouse and protesting the "racial profiling" that you feel occurred. yes, yes... i know how hard it's been for your people (and by "your people" i am, of course, referring to vegans). all those years of upper middle class suburban oppression...
i can't wait to read your memoir.

there.
i feel better now.
i can turn over my new leaf yet again now.