a day in the life of kathryn
part 9,181
the one where there's a lot of love but too many good intentions.
madre: okay, i'll admit it. i really want grandchildren.
me: no kidding.
padre: do you date at all, kathryn?
me: no.
padre: not at all?
me: no
padre: ...well, i don't get that at all.
madre: listen, i'll admit it. i want grandchildren.
me: okay.
grandma: [walking into living room with an orange shirt] you left this here.
me: i did?
grandma: yes.
me: when?
grandma: a few years ago. do you want it?
me: ...no.
grandma: you don't want it?
me: no.
grandma: why not?
me: it's orange.
grandma: ...
me: and two sizes too small.
grandma: i'm trying to clean out my house before i die. [sighs and walks out of room]
padre: don't the boys ask you on dates?
me: no.
padre: no?
me: no.
padre: they're probaby intimidated.
me: ...yes i'm sure that's it.
madre: okay, okay! i admit it. i want grandchildren.
me: good for you.
grandma: [walks into living room with pair of pants] do you want these?
me: no.
grandma: carolyn left them here awhile ago.
me: define "awhile".
grandma: um... 1996?
me: no.
grandma: you don't want them?
me: really, really no.
grandma: do you think carolyn wants them?
me: well... they're size 14 khaki carpenter pants, so i'm gonna say no.
grandma: but they're such a nice material.
me: indeed.
grandma: sigh... i just don't want you to have to clean out my house when i die [walks out of room]
madre: you know, the people at work are going through all these life changes because their kids are getting married and having babies.
me: that's nice for them.
madre: and all i have is stories about our dog...
the dog: woof!
padre: you know, i used to be scared of rejection.
madre: ... so, yes, i admit it...
padre: maybe the boys are afraid you'll reject them.
madre: ... i want grandchildren...
padre: someone once told me, "if you apply for a job, you might not get it. but if you don't apply, then you definitely won't get it."
madre: ... see? i admit it!
padre: you should tell the boys that.
grandma: [walks in with a pair of jeans] now, kathryn, i wear these jeans you left here when i garden.
me: cool.
grandma: i like them because they're nice and thick and i don't get cut by the thorns. but they're the ultra low waisted pants that are the fashion now a days.
me: look at you following the trends.
grandma: well, the other day i was out in the garden picking up plums and when i stood up, it felt drafty and that's when i realized that your jeans had fallen off me!
me: grandma!
grandma: i'm just glad i was in the back yard!
me: maybe we should buy you a belt.
grandma: no. i'm going to die.
me: ... sigh.
grandma: now, kathryn, when i do die... i don't want you to go through my clothes, just throw them away.
me: actually grandma, when you die i'm just going to toss you on your bed... and burn your house down.
grandma: oh kathryn.
me: no, seriously, think about it grandma... we won't have to pay for a funeral, we won't have to clean out your house, and we'll collect some insurance money!
grandma: ... [starts nodding]... and you could probably sell the property too.
fin
the one where there's a lot of love but too many good intentions.
madre: okay, i'll admit it. i really want grandchildren.
me: no kidding.
padre: do you date at all, kathryn?
me: no.
padre: not at all?
me: no
padre: ...well, i don't get that at all.
madre: listen, i'll admit it. i want grandchildren.
me: okay.
grandma: [walking into living room with an orange shirt] you left this here.
me: i did?
grandma: yes.
me: when?
grandma: a few years ago. do you want it?
me: ...no.
grandma: you don't want it?
me: no.
grandma: why not?
me: it's orange.
grandma: ...
me: and two sizes too small.
grandma: i'm trying to clean out my house before i die. [sighs and walks out of room]
padre: don't the boys ask you on dates?
me: no.
padre: no?
me: no.
padre: they're probaby intimidated.
me: ...yes i'm sure that's it.
madre: okay, okay! i admit it. i want grandchildren.
me: good for you.
grandma: [walks into living room with pair of pants] do you want these?
me: no.
grandma: carolyn left them here awhile ago.
me: define "awhile".
grandma: um... 1996?
me: no.
grandma: you don't want them?
me: really, really no.
grandma: do you think carolyn wants them?
me: well... they're size 14 khaki carpenter pants, so i'm gonna say no.
grandma: but they're such a nice material.
me: indeed.
grandma: sigh... i just don't want you to have to clean out my house when i die [walks out of room]
madre: you know, the people at work are going through all these life changes because their kids are getting married and having babies.
me: that's nice for them.
madre: and all i have is stories about our dog...
the dog: woof!
padre: you know, i used to be scared of rejection.
madre: ... so, yes, i admit it...
padre: maybe the boys are afraid you'll reject them.
madre: ... i want grandchildren...
padre: someone once told me, "if you apply for a job, you might not get it. but if you don't apply, then you definitely won't get it."
madre: ... see? i admit it!
padre: you should tell the boys that.
grandma: [walks in with a pair of jeans] now, kathryn, i wear these jeans you left here when i garden.
me: cool.
grandma: i like them because they're nice and thick and i don't get cut by the thorns. but they're the ultra low waisted pants that are the fashion now a days.
me: look at you following the trends.
grandma: well, the other day i was out in the garden picking up plums and when i stood up, it felt drafty and that's when i realized that your jeans had fallen off me!
me: grandma!
grandma: i'm just glad i was in the back yard!
me: maybe we should buy you a belt.
grandma: no. i'm going to die.
me: ... sigh.
grandma: now, kathryn, when i do die... i don't want you to go through my clothes, just throw them away.
me: actually grandma, when you die i'm just going to toss you on your bed... and burn your house down.
grandma: oh kathryn.
me: no, seriously, think about it grandma... we won't have to pay for a funeral, we won't have to clean out your house, and we'll collect some insurance money!
grandma: ... [starts nodding]... and you could probably sell the property too.
fin
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