Good... And Good for You

letter the first... dear the beach boys, if i have to listen to "little st. nick" one more time, i'm going to be forced to do something very melodramatic. seriously. love, kat letter the second... dear the clash, bless you for never, ever writing any christmas songs. love, kat letter the third... dear my headphones, thank you for being you. love, kat

as she sat in the hairdresser's chair, hair damp and torso covered by a tarp growing heavier with each passing moment, she realized there did not exist a moment more awkward than this. the hairdresser took a step towards her, scissors poised yet trembling, showing a glimpse of the true mental state hidden behind the hairdresser's smile, for her mother had died two days before as she had just revealed. and so she sat in the hairdresser's chair, hair damp, torso covered by a tarp growing heavier with each passing moment, and frozen in terror. 11pm-ish update: hehehe... ok. so apparently writing abstractly does not work for me. to clarify, i went to supercuts last week and when i asked the random haircutter gal how her thanksgiving had been she said, "it was ok. my mom died on monday, but it was good." and it was possibly one of the most awkward moments of my life. much more clear, yet so unliterary.

MEMO FROM THE DESKTOP OF KAT RE: THANKSGIVING Dear Every/Anyone, Kat wishes she could write to you today. Unfortunately she's in bed with a "yam related hangover" (her words, not mine). Okay, honestly? She's laying in bed watching the movie "Cocoon" and eating chocolate chip cookies. When I reminded her about writing a blog she said, and I quote, "Those suckers wouldn't know a good blog if it punched them in the kidneys". So we've compromised. Everytime Steve Guttenberg comes on screen, Kat dictates a part of this blog for me to type which basically means she mumbles something nonsensical and then laughs hysterically. For example, she's now saying something about her burgeoning love of Jason Bateman. I don't even know where that came from. I asked her for some context and she just yelled, "MY LOVE WILL NOT BE DENIED!!" so I'm going to let her do her thing and assume she's talking about "Arrested Develo...

really, when it comes down to it, if i could have a super power, it would either have to be invisibility or the ability to freeze time. flying would be cold and not as easy and quick as driving (what with all the controls on air traffic and what not). plus, everytime i picture flying to work, i picture that scene from "dumb and dumber" when they drive jim carey's moped to wherever and when they get to their destination they're all covered with dead bugs. p.s. i strongly dislike the movie "dumb and dumber". and i have a feeling that being able to read people's minds would just prove how little attention people pay to me when i talk to them. and if i was ultra strong i'd feel obligated to somehow fight crime. yep. invisibility and time freezing are definitely the way to go.

up until a year ago i was self absorbed enough to blog, email, and scrapbook , and keep a journal. i don't know how i found the energy to maintain the sense of self import i dug down deep but i wish i could reclaim it because i'm realizing more and more how bad my memory is. it's pathetic really. i'm like drew barrymore in that one adam sandler movie. no, not the 80's one. the one where drew can't remember anything. also, a completely unrelated thought, i've been in love with the chocolate from vosges ever since my coworker discovered it a year ago. it happens to be aimed straight at my particular purchasing demographic*. i just tried the calindia and goji bars today to which i give two thumbs up. *emotionally dependent on chocolate. *deperate need to quell for now desires to travel to europe/asia/africa/auastralia by consuming food remeniscent of said places. *willing to pay $7.00 for a candy bar without batting an eye.

warning: i'm caffeine free. this is, in fact, noncaffeination: day two. and although i enjoy the light, low carb, non FDA approved flavor of fuze juice, chromium and vitaminC are not going to keep my head from caving in. on this lovely friday morning (please read: afternoon) , i am struck with an intense appreciation for mankind's potential to embrace diversity. it's beautiful really. there are people who love to watch "casablanca" (never seen it) as well as "the three stooges" (never wanted to see it) . people who enjoy reading charles dickens (hate him) as well as anne rice (if it's not joss whedon, i want no part of it) . people who find the "love is..." cartoons (dumb) and "lil brudder" (stupid) equally delightful. and people who feel both michael buble (not enough testosterone) and def leppard (too much hair) are good for the soul. i, however, represent a different cross-section of unbiased humanity. because i hate eve...

thank you, splincoln , for giving me something to do. TRUE OR FALSE Appearance: I'm short: false I have scars: true... both physical and emotional [ sniff ] I tan easily: true I burn easily: false I wish my hair was a different color: false I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color: true I wear glasses or contacts: true I'm legally blind without them: false... i think I have 5 or more piercing: false I have/had piercing in places besides my ears: true Relationships: I miss someone right now: true (that's right splincoln! some of us have hearts that are not made of stone!) I've gotten divorced: false I've had a crush on a teacher: true I've hugged a stranger: true I like my bubble: very true Embarrassment: I've laughed so hard I've cried: true I've glued my hand to something: true I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose: false I've had my pants rip/drop in public: ahem... true I was born with a disease/impai...

dear friends, family, and people i'm only pretending to like in the hopes that someday they'll buy me something, there's something i've been meaning to write about and i suppose now is as good a time as any to get into it. after years of thinking i should probably do so, i finally started to get some neurological testing done. i got my first brain scan back this morning and the doctor pointed out something a little peculiar he found. ok. so this is my brain... and if you zoom in on that... wait. zoom in a little bit more... and then zoom in a little further, you see this... i know. weird, right? unrelated pet peeve of the day: the phrase is not "i could care less".

i had a long day today and decided to forget my troubles with a nice half hour of syndicated sitcomyness. and although i'm not one for quoting lyrics, i feel impressed to share a little something with you... so no one told you life was going to be this way. your job's a joke. you're broke. your love life's d.o.a. it's like you're always stuck in second gear, when it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year. that's the most depressing thing i've ever heard. you'll be there for me when the rain starts to fall ?? you'll get yours someday, "friends". you'll get yours.

now. when the weather prediction looks like that, i tend to look like this ---> this is me giving you fair warning.

i bought a new dvd/vcr at walmart last night because it was on sale (i think) and in a big pile. it was as though i had no will of my own. after i finished setting it up, i had a mini marathon involving the only one of my dvd sets which hasn't been borrowed (seriously) ... "gilmore girls" . season 4. which i love. here's a brief cross section of the pop-culture/not-at-all-pop-culture references included in said dvd set: "alive" "annie sullivan" "brown bunny" blake edwards caiphas "the carringtons" "daria" "doogie" "dorf" farrah on letterman "grey gardens" henry box brown iran in '79 jack lalanne keith richards at altamont "kids in the hall" kofi annan "mommie dearest" "national velvet" pat summerall "persis khambatta" the strand ted knight tony robbins "what's your damage, heather?" "witches of eastwick" when it comes to ...