p-a-r-a-noid
ok, fine. when i tried to open the trunk of my car the other morning and my car key broke in the lock, i admit i thought the broken key was a harbinger of the bad karmic voodoo i'd flippantly referred to while mocking the poor girl i work with for 7 straight hours.
because deep down i'm incredibly superstitious.
and also on the surface i'm superstitious.
and basically in all the middle layers of my personality i'm superstitious.
but so many serendipitous things happen in any given day... except instead of finding john cusack's phone number on the back of a five dollar bill, i tend to run into middle aged ladies in the yarn aisle at walmart who just happen to know for a fact that the newest sublimation project i've undertaken and focused all my sense of fulfillment and self worth into is, in fact, useless.
and i have to leave walmart in shame.
and sit in my car thinking, "hu, what were the odds of that?" which naturally lends itself to, "why haven't i found that deliciously cusacky $5 bill yet? i bet the odds are the same." which naturally lends itself to, "man that movie sucked. why do i know so many details about it? and i only saw it the one time. what are the odds of me remembering so many things about such a lame movie but not remember to buy toilet paper while i was at walmart?"
i sat on the curb with my half-a-key for about 30 seconds contemplating my newly jinxed life.
but that got boring.
because seriously if sarcasm gives you bad karma, i was screwed long ago.
because deep down i'm incredibly superstitious.
and also on the surface i'm superstitious.
and basically in all the middle layers of my personality i'm superstitious.
but so many serendipitous things happen in any given day... except instead of finding john cusack's phone number on the back of a five dollar bill, i tend to run into middle aged ladies in the yarn aisle at walmart who just happen to know for a fact that the newest sublimation project i've undertaken and focused all my sense of fulfillment and self worth into is, in fact, useless.
and i have to leave walmart in shame.
and sit in my car thinking, "hu, what were the odds of that?" which naturally lends itself to, "why haven't i found that deliciously cusacky $5 bill yet? i bet the odds are the same." which naturally lends itself to, "man that movie sucked. why do i know so many details about it? and i only saw it the one time. what are the odds of me remembering so many things about such a lame movie but not remember to buy toilet paper while i was at walmart?"
i sat on the curb with my half-a-key for about 30 seconds contemplating my newly jinxed life.
but that got boring.
because seriously if sarcasm gives you bad karma, i was screwed long ago.
Comments
and saucy makes you super strong
and super strong made you create too much torque on your key, thusly breaking said key and creating a half-a-key
and the half-a-key was a sign of being saucy
ah, the circle of sauce
Look on the bright side?
Because, to my ultimate displeasure, John Cusack was allowed to age beyond 30.
Didn't he even cry in that movie? GIVE US BACK LANE MEYER!
Have you ever thought that Wal-Mart is the source of the bad karma? Because it just seems like being a behemeth corporation driven solely by the need to generate obscene profits lends itself to jinxing so much more than sarcasm.
At least I hope so..
"ah, a weapon with a twist."