wow. one man can make a difference.

i get migraines on a pretty consistent basis.
they start with the muscles in my neck tensing up and end with my brain expanding 3 sizes and trying to break out of my skull.
and really the only way to stop the madness is to take a handful of excedrin beautiful excedrin. i would marry it if woman and medication could wed and sit in a dark room with absolutely no stimuli whatsoever because somewhere between the muscles tensing and the skull splitting, all of my senses become heightened.

and not in a cool superhero kind of way.

in a "why is everyone shouting at me and why can i actually smell things and hey you, ya you mr. flourescent light, why are you trying to make me vomit?" kind of a way.
and i'm thinking my sense of cynicism gets heightened too because i did not enjoy "spiderman 3" on saturday and everyone else loved it.
everyone.
the imdb.com commenters thought it was brilliant.
people cried during it.

all i'm saying is what with the loudness, and the scene with hand held cameras, and the buttered popcorn in combination with the corny dialogue and badly delivered lines from extras, and spiderman swinging in front of the american flag... i really needed some excedrin beautiful excedrin. i would worship it if doing so weren't blasphemous.

maybe in my nausea i only imagined black space goo (with the capacity to turn eric foreman into venom) turning spiderman into an emo twentysomething whose evil plan is to tap dance in front of his ex girlfriend wait, was that a spoiler? i mean, i went into the movie knowing all of that from the previews. except for the tap dancing part. so if i spoiled the tap dancing revelation for you... deal with it. you know, when spiderman is evil his suit is black. that's right! i'm totally drunk with power. i'm spoiling it all for you and i don't even care!.
he's really more the diet coke of black space goo evil.

but everyone else liked it.
so you probably will too.

man, i hate not fitting in.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I want you to know what I haven't seen any of the Spider-Man movies. And so far my plans are to not see the third one. So you aren't the only one who doesn't "fit in".
Anonymous said…
I didn't exactly like the movie either. We saw it Friday afternoon... opening day. In the middle of movie the projector started having problems. The screen started flashing, then split so the bottom of the screen was on the top... I'm sure this wouldn't have helped your head, but I it was the most interesting part of the movie.
Lincoln said…
The answer is: 3
The question: What is the number of Spiderman movies I have now NOT seen.
Nama said…
eh. spiderman, schmiderman. who need 'em?
Em said…
i hate it.

i haven't seen it.

but i hate it.
Leah said…
I'm feelin you on the whole migraine thing - I've had them since I was wee. It's misery. I always take something before I go to a movie or a concert or I know I'll get one. I haven't seen Spidey 3 yet, but I don't think a comic-book flicks can be spoiled.
Carolyn said…
Most of my friends hated it. One of my friends said everyone in the theater was laughing at unintentionally funny places.