i quit

to: the guy who started kissing the picture of me wearing a blonde wig...
although i appreciate your support, at this point in my life i see your actions not as a compliment but as encouragement to remain a brunette.

to: the not-so-young man who said he could only think of two nice things to say about me...
wow. that's twice as many as i can say about you.

to: the person who repeatedly groped me at the pool during a friendly game of "power ball"...
that's not what i meant when i said it was a "full contact sport".

to: the man driving the very nice, very loud motorcycle very fast, who took the time as he was passing my car to give me the upward nod...
wear a helmut.

to: the guy who said that hating me was so last year...
bite me.

to: the young man who was supposed to have moved to idaho but instead quit his band, bought a dirt bike, remained in orem, and tried to visit me the other day...
thank you for your phone call. you can't imagine how much i enjoy our monthly talks about you. but before you call me next month, i was just wondering if maybe you cared a little bit about how i'm doing. no? hmmm... maybe next month you should just call yourself and leave me out of it.