Good... And Good for You

this thanksgiving was possibly the least dysfunctional my family has ever had. ever. which is all well and good, but doesn't make for good story telling. although... my grandmother and great aunt did ask carolyn and i to teach them how to hip hop dance, which we did. my crazy cousin did ask me to work for him at his landscaping company. heading up a team of "20 or so mexicans". oh and he also cornered me in the kitchen at one point with a knife saying, "you know why you'll never win? because you have fear. and fear is the enemy." to which i shouted, "no! YOU are the enemy!" and slipped out and hid behind my very large father. oh! and my other crazy cousin (my crazy cousin's brother) told me that if he ever caught me drinking beer, he'd punch my teeth out. i told him i'd cut down. and of course there was the endless barrage of questions about my not marriedness/barrenness/failure as a mormon womanness. but that's old news....

(a.k.a. the day that broke me) (a.k.a. yesterday) three facts which might prove pertinent... #1 i'm a graphic design major and i graduate in april. #2 my bosses asked me to design some labels for the new store they're opening in the mall. #3 i don't know anything about graphic design. i down play. i make myself down play. i only get stressed or frustrated as a last resort. this is why i feel i can tell people that i'm a rational human being. so, yesterday when i ran some labels to my boss in the mall and locked my keys in the car for the first time in my life, my immediate reaction was: "it's not a big deal. just go to the information desk and get a security guard to open it." it was 8:30 in the morning and obviously the information desk wasn't open. "it's not a big deal. the information desk will be open by the time you're done here." my boss looked at the labels i'd made, loved them, and wanted more. our conversation took all of...

tonight i saw carmen... carmen rasmusen...from "american idol". ... or at least, i saw a skinny girl with perfect blonde hair and no nose. i guess she pretty much could've been any byu co-ed. she was sitting two rows in front of me. it's not really a classic blog.

*"she's not just a pretty face" by shania... in fact... shania. shania must go. *school *the movie "joe dirt" *pretending to like "buffy" in order to date a certain girl *uncle kracker continuing on... *marathon visits *the "star wars" prequels (maybe george lucas should just go) *john bytheway *"the man show" *mary kay salespeople not to be out done by... *19 year old newly marrieds dishing out dating advice. *anyone dishing out dating advice. *the olsen twins *the mcgriddle (well... not so much the mcgriddle itself as the calories and fat content contained within said breakfast sandwich) *herbal essences commercials

all afternoon at work, we played the celebrity connection game. on person would name two random celebrities and the rest of us would try and connect them through movies. kind of a "7 degrees to kevin bacon" type game. i'm not gonna lie to you, i'm really good at this game. intimidatingly good. and also "7 degrees to nik.alexander" is equally fun to play, because everyone i know in real life is connected to him through dating or roomate associations. i know i am. in two ways. which means that all of you are too. mwahahaha....

dear kylily.blogspot.com, we've been together for exactly one year today. let's put that into "kat perspective" for everyone else out there. that's the equivalent of... 5 quasi boyfriends. 8,760 episodes of "buffy". 23 trips to salt lake and back. 7,396 references to "kitty kat", "kit kat", or"kat in the hat", or plaintive cries of "meow!". 131,400 times karaoking the song "old time rock and roll". 1,460 excruciatingly long dates, or in my case... 1,460 excruciatingly long " non dates", or to be even more precise... 151 times being asked out and 151 date cancellations. 13,578 comments about my freakish height. 5,840 talent shows in which i make a fool of myself. 4,380 dtr's. 1,397 encounters with a wall. 11,680 times watching...er, doing "taebo". 146 pioneer treks. 1,095 libido chocolates. i love you, kylily.blogspot.com. this anniversary is very important to me...

when one works at a chocolate factory, one tends to secretly hope the owner of said factory is willy wonka-esque. sadly, life is full of disappointments. when the owner of the chocolate factory to which one is employed hands one a prototype labido chocolate and orders one to eat it, one does, secretly hoping it will result in one becoming a lustier version of "the hulk". sadly, reality if full of disappointments. in conclusion, when one has a mouth full of labido chocolate and the owner asks if it's too minty, the correct answer is anything but, "ya, but at least my breath feels fresher." sadly, i am full of disappointments.

my favorite class this semester is my "color theory" class. mostly because of the title. but also because of my teacher who's only a few years older than me and slightly resembles eartha kitt. earlier in the semester i was talking to her before class and she described the family reunion she'd just come from. or as she liked to call it... her " traditional family rodeo ". apparently "traditional" stands for "animals not included". where most families would quit, her family proudly rodeos on. they have a calf tying event where the boys are the horses, the girls are the cowboys, and the young children are the calves. ... think about it. and of course the big event is bull riding which could be more appropriately termed "extreme piggy back riding". in my estimation there's no form of entertainment to match the traditional family rodeo. none. unless you take into account an actual rodeo. or maybe one of my family's...

a couple nights ago, i was laying on my couch reading a book, when who should come to my door but joseph. yay!!! oh wait. you can't be excited until i explain who joseph is. joseph is this little 9 year old boy who wears a little tuxedo and talks like he's 37. he used to always go door to door and sell roses to earn enough money to go to gymnastics camp. sometimes he would hang out in my apartment with my friends and me for a couple of hours and then i would remember that he wasn't one of my friends, he was a little 9 year old boy selling roses really late at night. and then i would ask him where his mom was and he would say that she was in the car waiting for him, and then i would tell him that he should probably go home. eventually he stopped coming around. but then... a couple of nights ago, i was laying on my couch reading a book, when who should come to my door but joseph! yay!!! only this time he was selling bookmarks to earn enough money to buy a banjo for the...