Good... And Good for You

dear diary, i went to olive garden last night with my second favorite person ever*. i, of course, spent 10 minutes assuring the seating hostess that she really could do her hair like mine, she just needed a lot of aquanet and a smaller curling iron. and that, no really, that's all she needed. our waiter was odd. now, when i say that i mean that his name was "odd". and also that he acted odd. i've actually had odd as a waiter before. he's reeeally touchy about his name. he doesn't like for you to ask him about it. and when he explains that it's short for "oddysseus" (yes, with two d's) he doesn't like for you to ask him if his parents are into epic poetry. and when he says that actually his parents were bikers, he does not appreciate your snickering. so last night i knew to smile politely, to say that everything he did was perfect, and to not question the fact that he brought six extra forks with our desserts. which i think, all in all, ...

dear those of you who always thought i could make it as a motivational speaker, this might change your mind. yours, kat. ________________________________ life rarely goes the way i plan it. phew. yet inevitabley i plan. because the way i'm thinking it works is that fate/dumb luck/life require that i make the first move before they can take me in the opposite direction. and i'm also thinking that i can't sit around and wait for things to happen. because then i would be a fatalist and fatalists think that nothing they do matters and they're victims to circumstance. i hate fatalists. even though i think that as a mormon i technically fall into the fatalism catagory. crap.

listen, i'm not entirely crazy. there are certain impulses that i know deep down are just plain wrong. like how i want to buy cowboy boots. it's wrong. and my desire for a personalized t-shirt that has a cartoon monkey in a school bus on it. so wrong. but then there are times when the wrongness line isn't as clear. like when i propose to the mall ice cream man. er, boy. well, not a boy, but not yet a man. i'd like to think that there's no shame in that kind of whirlwind, chocolate-icecream-brownie-hot-fudge-volcano-centric romance no matter how mrs. robinsonesque it might be. i'd like to think that being invited to his band's nursing home gig that night was nothing but adorable. but because i'm not entirely crazy, i have a nagging feeling that my short lived affair with the icecream manboy was, well, wrongish. man... remember the part about the hot fudge volcano? it's like i was proclaiming on friday, when it comes to the female obsession with chocol...

my work related mental blocks often require that i google image my brains out for new ideas. today i was looking for something old fashionedy . and easter bunnyish. and this is what i found... . . . . . . the picture itself is called "easter bunny from hell". and i cannot stop laughing. hehehe... that poor baby. sigh... that just kills me. who knows what kind of candy labels will come from this.

in response to nessa's list... 7 things i plan to do before i die own my own business go to europe go skiing get a manicure live outside of utah get my cavity taken care of read les miserables 7 things i can do the splits make candy labels sight read music watch "billy madison" from start to finish in my head say "shut up and kiss me" in 12 languages draw slip through very small cracks in windows 7 things i can not do keep a straight face watch a movie without announcing who the actors are and what else they've been in smell drive the speed limit an even somewhat convincing impression of wayne from "wayne's world" stand still when there's music playing 7 things i find most attractive about the opposite sex kindness sarcasmy sense of humor height big smile unassuming talented motivated 7 things that i say most often "and that's fine" "hey how ya doin' whatchya doin' wh...

"you're funny ... ...you know, they say pretty women usually aren't funny because they never had to be. were you a fat child?"

back to the land of the living. kind of. normally i wouldn't wear a "wanted: one cute cowboy" hoodie to work. but for the most part it's back to the land of the living. bring it. which reminds me*... i enjoy reading and i mean, really who doesn't? . when people ask me, "so... what do you like to do?" reading usually makes the list, although i wouldn't say i'm well read . ok. i would. if you were a boy. and i wanted to impress you. because you looked like you're into brainy chicks. and i felt like i needed to somehow negate my hoodie. if that happened? i'd say i was well read. but i wouldn't mean it. i'm a slow reader and impatient, so it usually takes 100 pages of forcing myself to focus before i get into a book enough to enjoy it. but then there are the books that make me love reading. a handful of incredible books that i become immediately engrossed in. and all of a sudden i choose reading over tv, or sleep, or staring at a w...

i'm dying. this isn't exactly the way i wanted to go, but... you know... it happens. i have pink eye. at age 24. and now i think the pink eye has spread to my throat. and ears. and nose. and brain. in the last hour i've put 5 excedrin, 2 prescription eye drops, a glass of airborne, 20 cookies, a chicken quesadilla, 30 billion mentholated cough drops, and 20 ounces of diet coke into my system. and i just found some old codeine. that'll probably be next. but what i'm saying is... if the codeine doesn't help, i'm going to chop my head off. and in that eventuality, i need to settle a few things... mom, to you i leave all the stuff i've stolen from home over the years. daddy, you can have my laptop so you will no longer need to borrow it and say, "i need to get one of these... how do you turn it on?" liz, my "buffy" dvd's are all yours. lincoln, you get the container of artificial sweetener i stole from chili's. kate, to you i leav...

i fancy myself a moderately healthy person. and by that i mean that i think to myself, "heh, i should so not be eating this" as i shove yet another parmisan cheese pretzel into my mouth. i fancy myself a moderately active person. and by that i mean that i think to myself, "heh, i should so be outside doing something" as i lay on my couch and watch "simpsons". i fancy myself a moderately reasonable person. and by that i mean that i think to myself, "heh, i should so not be freaking out about this" as i pretend to talk on my cell phone so i can leave a room crammed full of my awkwardness and sit in a random bedroom and spend a half hour organizing some playing cards i found on the dresser. a part of me realizes that what i want to be and what i am are two very different things. which is why i'm sincerely glad that the bigger part of me... is delusional.

in case any of you were wondering... no, i am not a computer programmer. i don't know html. to me, the inner workings of the internet are better left undelved. just in case anyone was wondering. side note: does anyone like country music? because i suddenly find myself with 2 free tickets to brooks and dunn tomorrow night. who's brooks and dunn?

my memory is full. i'm bad with names, dates, places, and pretty much everything that has to do with remembering because i've filled up my pretty little head with too much uselessness during high school and college. and now there's no more room for anything new or important. i want to clean out the hard drivein my head. i want to find a way to get rid of the words to the canadian national anthem. i want my 9th grade locker combination gone. the song i played at my piano recital when i was 15, the church's young women's theme, all the episode names to "buffy" seasons 2-6, the code names i gave the boys i liked my sophmore year, the fact that ron howard's brother is in every single one of his movies, the pythagorean theorum, the words to salt n peppa's "shoop"... it can all go. because i have to learn a new program for work. by tomorrow. side note: and to quote my good friend liz , i'd like to give a "good old fashioned 90's st...

a lot of people look to my blog to keep them abreast of today's "hot topics". because i never shy away from controversy. no way. i look controversy straight in the eye and i say, "you don't scare me, bucko." that's right. i hate that there are state quarters. it's idiotic. i was getting a diet coke from the vending machine, as i've done before and as i will do again, most likely very soon, and i grabbed all the change out of my pocket and realized that i was checking the backs of all my quarters so that i wouldn't spend a new one. because should i find a 2005 one, i'm supposed to save it and give it to my mother and grandmother who have these cardboard maps of the u.s. with a space for each state's quarter. luckily i didn't have any new ones. only ohio and connecticut. so i was able to get my soda. in a society that's been known to have a "beanie baby craze" why would our government introduce collectable currency? ...