thanksgiving 2007: adventures in being deaf but literate

grandma: are you still taking you water pills?
great aunt: what?
grandma: your water pills!
great aunt: vitamins?
grandma: what?
great aunt: vitamins!
mom: no, mom wants to know if you're still taking your water pills.
great aunt: oh... yah*.
grandma: what?
great aunt: yah!
grandma: oh... me too.
great aunt: what?
grandma: me too!
great aunt: oh.
me: grandma, i was at the bookstore last weekend and i found your favorite book!
grandma: what?
great aunt: your favorite book!
grandma: oh... which one?
me: "lady chatterley's lover"!
grandma and great aunt: oh my!
me: i know. i was going to buy it for you!
great aunt: oh my!
grandma: i already own it!
great aunt: what?
grandma: i own it!
great aunt: oh... me too.
grandma: what?
great aunt: me too!
grandma: oh.
carolyn: you both own it?
great aunt: it's a classic!
me: it is? well there was a naked lady on the cover.
grandma: what?
me: naked lady!
grandma: oh... well, there are no naked women in the book!
great aunt: only naked men!
grandma: she falls in love with the gamekeeper.
great aunt: what?
grandma: gamekeeper!
great aunt: oh... yah.
me: you dirty lindblom girls...
great aunt: i'll have you know there were never two girls filled with more purity and goodness than the lindblom girls.
mom: sure.
great aunt: ...besides, they only show the man's naked sitdown.
carolyn: wait... what?
grandma: naked sitdown!
carolyn: they only showed it? how did they only show the man's "sitdown" in a book?
mom: gasp! you saw the movie!
great aunt: ...yes we did.
me: tsk tsk.
great aunt: well... that's nothing. esther! tell them about the book you found when you were cleaning the house one day!
grandma: what?
great aunt: under pupuh*'s bed!
mom, carolyn, me & dad: what??
great aunt: under his bed!!
grandma: oh... no.
mom: porno?
carolyn: nowadays we just say "porn".
grandma: i don't want to talk about that...
great aunt: he'd just remarried...
grandma: i don't like to talk about those sordid details...
great aunt: ethel... ugghh... she was terrible....
grandma: you see pupuh had married ethel...
great aunt: and esther would clean their house and do the laundry even though ethel was so crazy...
grandma: ethel was so crazy...
great aunt: and one day when esther was cleaning, she found a book under pupuh's bed about how to have better sex...
mom, carolyn, me, and dad: what??
grandma: ethel was crazy!!
great aunt: yah, she was!
grandma: but i used to go in and clean their house and do their laundry... even though i didn't care for ethel...
great aunt: i never cared for ethel...
grandma: and one day i found a book under their bed...
great aunt: i wouldn't be surprised if ethel put it under the bed...
grandma: and i don't like to talk about it...
great aunt: she was so odd.
grandma: but if you must know, it was a book about how to have more joy through sex!
great aunt: what?
grandma: sex!!
great aunt: oh... yah.
grandma: yah.
the end.

*pronunciation guide: in my family "ya" is pronounced "yah" and "papa" becomes "pupuh".