dad
my dad is a 6'4", 240 pound teddy bear.
he knows a lot about history.
he can remember every meal he's ever eaten.
my dad can't carry a tune and he memorizes the jokes from readers digest.
he likes john wayne movies.
and also he likes golf.
in fact, he went golfing on saturday. well, why don't i let my dad tell you about it.
dad: i went golfing on saturday.
me: ya? and how was that?
dad: it was ok. there was a man there with his daughter, so i asked if he wanted to team up and he did.
me: that's nice.
dad: and then he said that he doesn't get to golf as much as he'd like because of his job.
me: his job?
dad: ya. i asked him what his job was, and he said he was an apostle in the church.
me: ...wait, [actually paying attention now] what?
dad: ya. so then i realized that i was playing golf with elder eyring.
me: are you kidding me?
dad: no. and i guess he doesn't get to golf as much as he'd like to. so i told him that was a pretty good argument against being righteous.
me: [nodding my head in defeat] sigh... oh dad.
dad: hehehe...
my dad might just be the funniest person i know and by "funniest person i know" i mean "only person i know who would tell a religious leader to be less righteous".
but if you meet him, don't ever ask him to tell you a joke.
seriously.
unless you like the readers digest jokes.
because that's what you're going to get.
p.s. the link to the richard kiel page is actually because i always wanted to buy my dad the shirt r.k. wears in "happy gilmore". you know... the "guns don't kill people, i kill people" shirt.
p.p.s. so he could wear it when boys came to pick me up for dates.
p.p.p.s. "and you can count... on me waiting for you in the parking lot."
he knows a lot about history.
he can remember every meal he's ever eaten.
my dad can't carry a tune and he memorizes the jokes from readers digest.
he likes john wayne movies.
and also he likes golf.
in fact, he went golfing on saturday. well, why don't i let my dad tell you about it.
dad: i went golfing on saturday.
me: ya? and how was that?
dad: it was ok. there was a man there with his daughter, so i asked if he wanted to team up and he did.
me: that's nice.
dad: and then he said that he doesn't get to golf as much as he'd like because of his job.
me: his job?
dad: ya. i asked him what his job was, and he said he was an apostle in the church.
me: ...wait, [actually paying attention now] what?
dad: ya. so then i realized that i was playing golf with elder eyring.
me: are you kidding me?
dad: no. and i guess he doesn't get to golf as much as he'd like to. so i told him that was a pretty good argument against being righteous.
me: [nodding my head in defeat] sigh... oh dad.
dad: hehehe...
my dad might just be the funniest person i know and by "funniest person i know" i mean "only person i know who would tell a religious leader to be less righteous".
but if you meet him, don't ever ask him to tell you a joke.
seriously.
unless you like the readers digest jokes.
because that's what you're going to get.
p.s. the link to the richard kiel page is actually because i always wanted to buy my dad the shirt r.k. wears in "happy gilmore". you know... the "guns don't kill people, i kill people" shirt.
p.p.s. so he could wear it when boys came to pick me up for dates.
p.p.p.s. "and you can count... on me waiting for you in the parking lot."
Comments
Later he asked me if I had ever heard of a "tiny, little wide-mouthed woman named Katie Couric."
First off, you can't cuss.
Secondly, you would feel weird yelling at the ball, the course, or yourself, because I'm sure they would put their hand on your shoulder and tell you that it really doesn't matter, in the long run.
Lastly, they would be so controlled and calm that I'm sure they would show you up every time, every hole.
But I'm sure the golf-to-gospel parallels would be great for your next sacrament talk.
And Jay, I think problems 1-5 should really be 1-Cussing, 2-Swearing, 3-Profanity, 4-Foul Language, and 5-Four-letter words...
Not good!
second, the price is wrong... bitch.
third, if i were to play golf with a religious leader i would surely spend my time attempting to show him the humor in ritual, tradition, and ceremony, which i'm sure would then be abruptly followed by a large bolt of lightning erupting from the laser gun jesus is holding above me. the religious leader snickers sardonically as i lay dead at his/her feet. ah, irony is a kicker. unfortunately, i gotta believe what i believe.
just a comment, this absolutely sucks. i've been around people who were pooped on, and while i've never been pooped on myself, i can only imagine it is depressing. you're an easy target being taller than your friends though. an unfortunate birden... wah wah wah.
I told Erika, I don't care if the deans wear their certain robes because they are deans...I think they look kinda similar to court jesters.
I think golf is the game most likely to exhibit non-apostle like behavior.