genre

if my blog were a novel, you know... about me, i would imagine that snippets of if would sound something like this...

as she sat ("she" being me. "me" being the narrator and the end-all-be-all of this blog, whose bias you have to assume is accurate) waiting for church to begin, she realized that she sat alone in her pew and was in fact alone in the chapel. examining all the possibilities she decided that the rest of her ward must have seen her walk in and hidden behind the podium as part of an elaborately cruel joke.
so she went home and watched "buffy".

if my blog were a soap opera, you know... about me, i'd imagine it would go something like this...

me: how is this possible? how?? how???
dirk: pull yourself together!! (slaps me in the face)
me: this is all your fault! you had it in for me the minute i walked through those doors and i knew it! i knew it the minute i looked into your eyes. i knew that our mutual passion could only end in ruination and deceit! (throws a glass of water in dirk's face)
dirk: you don't know what you're talking about!
me: i loathe you!
dirk: i despise you!
me: you repulse me!!
(they kiss passionately)
dirk: ... so is there something i can get you instead?
me: um... ya. if you're out of the spicey chicken, i guess i'll get the #5 combo instead.
dirk: that'll be $5.36.

if my blog was a hard hitting news program, you know... about me, i'd imagine it would more or less be like this...

we interrupt the regularly scheduled programming to bring you this important news story. our sources tell us that charismatic candy label designer kat, a well known advocate of striped patterns did in fact design a label with slightly thinner than usual stripes earlier today.
i repeat... slightly. thinner. than usual.
witnesses say at one point she considered making a label with circles on it- an idea which was quickly dismissed as crazy talk. should this slightly thinner than usual striped pattern be accepted the entire candy community could be turned upside down.
tune in 5 minutes after the hour to find out how this slightly thinner than usual striped pattern will effect you, the consumer. see how president bush handled the news of the slightly thinner than usual stripe and his comments on how it will effect gas prices and the situation in the middle east.
then at 10 minutes past the hour we'll discuss how the slightly thinner than usual stripe will help your morning commute.
we return you now to your regularly scheduled programming already in progress.

sadly, my blog is only a blog.
it's tragic really.
because my life is pure drama. and it really deserves to be viewed in the proper forum.


oh gosh.
my life is so dull.