labour day
i took the matriarchs to walmart yesterday.
i don't think people truly understand how much i adore these two women. i'm guessing it's mostly because i love only two groups of people in this world- those who love me, and those who remind me of myself. my grandmother and great aunt are part of the elite few who fall into both categories.
i feel this statement justifies the use of a venn diagram...
anyways, i enjoy them mostly because they feed my narcissism, but also because they're hilarious. they spent most of the afternoon arguing about who was more feeble. they both made some pretty good arguments about why the other might keel over any second. my grandmother explained that my great aunt had a dizzy spell a couple of weeks ago, has high blood pressure, and a doctors appointment tomorrow. my great aunt brought my grandmother's thyroid condition and thin blood, and looked very smug when we took turns at walmart's blood pressure machine and my grandmother's pulse was "0".
it all came to a mighty climax at the check out stand when my great aunt started helping my walking corpse of a grandmother load her groceries onto the counter. my grandmother glanced back, yelled "NOOO!!", rushed over to my great aunt and pushed her away yelling, "your heart is racing! it's racing!!" my great aunt shoved back and said, "let me help you! let me help you!!"
it was, quite honestly, the funniest thing i've ever seen.
ah, to be 90.
i don't think people truly understand how much i adore these two women. i'm guessing it's mostly because i love only two groups of people in this world- those who love me, and those who remind me of myself. my grandmother and great aunt are part of the elite few who fall into both categories.
i feel this statement justifies the use of a venn diagram...
anyways, i enjoy them mostly because they feed my narcissism, but also because they're hilarious. they spent most of the afternoon arguing about who was more feeble. they both made some pretty good arguments about why the other might keel over any second. my grandmother explained that my great aunt had a dizzy spell a couple of weeks ago, has high blood pressure, and a doctors appointment tomorrow. my great aunt brought my grandmother's thyroid condition and thin blood, and looked very smug when we took turns at walmart's blood pressure machine and my grandmother's pulse was "0".
it all came to a mighty climax at the check out stand when my great aunt started helping my walking corpse of a grandmother load her groceries onto the counter. my grandmother glanced back, yelled "NOOO!!", rushed over to my great aunt and pushed her away yelling, "your heart is racing! it's racing!!" my great aunt shoved back and said, "let me help you! let me help you!!"
it was, quite honestly, the funniest thing i've ever seen.
ah, to be 90.
Comments
I heart you.
I see that kind of thing everyday, only it involves more drugs and motorized carts...
that's freaking funny as hell
i can so picture these two little old ladies rhyming off the insults and getting a little louder the more feedback they get...
lurvely