prepared

saw "war of the worlds" last night and left the theater happy to have seen a well made version of an "oh crap aliens are killing everybody let's run" movie.
that's what it had promised to be, and that's all i really wanted.

i like movies where the earth is going to be destroyed by aliens/meteors/the earth's inner core freezing/godzilla(ok, maybe not godzilla)/a giant volcano/etc because i feel like i'm being prepared for the real deal.
bring it.

first of all, in case of a real life "oh crap aliens are killing everybody let's run" event... i'm staying far away from the u.s. army, cuz they'll definitely be the first thing to go down. and new york will be the second.
and in the face of real devastation, i'm going to strategically rip my shirt and find either the most eccentric scientist i know, or the best looking guy with undiscovered potential** (or if i'm really aching to live, the aging scientologist* with a fetish for young, taller-than-him brunettes) because then i'll have a pretty good chance of survival.
and if i can't find one of them, then i'll find some adorably scrappy, emotionally distant children.
or an adorably scrappy, emotionally distant ex husband.

it's just common sense.

*speaking of tom, in my continued efforts towards tolerance, i spent upwards of 10 minutes online trying to figure out what scientology is, why there isn't any actual science involved, and why celebrities would rather believe in aliens, than god.

**
and speaking of hell freezing over, i got a raise today. when i get home i plan to jump about yelling "yippee" in manner of the annoying little boy in "swiss family robinson".

Comments

Erika said…
Well and let's all remember that when aliens/meteor/weather is taking over the world, it's almost saved 5 times before it's really saved. So don't get your hopes up after the first saved. Because you will probably be eaten by an alien.
talkingdonkey said…
I once spent an hour trying to figure out what scientology was and now I'd like that hour back. Also when I was younger people told me I looked like that annoying little kid. Could it be they just thought I was annoying? Ah crap....
Chester B. said…
Man, I'm glad the movie is more interesting the than book.

H.G. Wells is sooooo boring.

Any religion founded by a science fiction author has gotta be Whackee!
Em said…
YAY!!! A raise!! you're a genius. Who just may survive the next devastating disaster. Although, if I had to decide between the mentioned options, I think I'd go with the eccentric scientist. I bet he'd be really fun at parties...
Jena said…
He's also annoying in Pollyanna.
Nama said…
i'd go for the crazy eccentric scientist as well, cause they're usually as sweaty and stressed out and hot. think of jeff goldblum on "independence day". hottness and geniusness. sweet! i'm totally surviving when aliens/marshmellow boy/volcanos/killer tomatos come to destroy the earth!
Kimberly said…
Dude, what are you all talking about?! Who picks the crazy scientist over the attractive hero? The hero ALWAYS survives. Ok, so sometimes the hero is the crazy scientist, but in that case you can have both.
Ann-Marie said…
"The aims of Scientology are a world without insanity, without criminals, without war, where the able can prosper and where Man is free to rise to greater heights."

I haven't seen the movie yet... but isn't the movie predominately about insanity, and war? If you believe in a world without these things, why would you choose to be in a movie that thrives on these exact things?
Leah said…
I was wondering out loud about scientology the other day and my sister said, "It's really not as weird as what you believe, you've never seen God and you do what someone says he says to do and you're waiting for him to show up from out of the sky, so how different is that?" I laughed.
Jay said…
When the world blows up/taken over by aliens/destroyed by rubber monsters I'm going to be sure to hang out with the cute girl, the cute girl never dies either. But I guess the real risk of this is that the cute girl will, in the end, end up with the crazy, emotionally distant ex-husband scientist hero, but that's ok because I'll be alive. Also, it's important to always have liquid disease/granades/the biggest gun in stock/a flamethrower handy.

But, of course, if you have mutant abilities/are a vampire like I do/am, then you won't need any of that AND you will always survive/live/be alive long enough to see the results of the disaster/see the alien ship buried in a building/mountain.
barnesanova said…
1) have you ever noticed that these movies come out in groups? i.e., deep impact, armageddon. volcano, dante's peak. (no one said they'd all be winners)

2) i often wonder who i would be in case of a crisis. would i be the 'jack' from lost, or would i be sawyer? could i be locke? maybe i'd be boone and just be dead. OR, best/worst case, would i go out in some giant laserbeam/meteor rock falling on my nugget/swept away in a rush of water i didn't see coming type of way? i like to believe i'm probably a jack/locke type, philosophical while wrapped up in execution and sometimes annoyingly opinionated.

3) scientology, just watch battlefield earth. case closed.

ha, this one has turned into my own blog!
barnesanova said…
jay, you make an interesting point, go for the tall brunette with a strategically torn shirt, and try for a come from behind win, taking out the jackass who's just trying to score during a tragedy, win her love, and run for high ground. or hide in the ny public library. um, build a shelter underground? perhaps, start a fire for warmth? suggest a game of non-strategic shirt ripping? stand on a step to be taller, or two i guess if you're short. i don't know about that part, i'm tall.
Erika said…
Kimbolicious:
ALWAYS go for the scientist guy. The hero always has a new girl in the sequel. Do you want that?
kat said…
i like to think i'd be "kate" or "zayede", but i have a feeling i'd be the hobbit guy. (this really makes me miss "lost")

and i'm definitely going to invest in a flame thrower.
or maybe a skateboard, because then someone might mistake me for being one of the adorably scrappy, emotionally distant children. i'd probably have to get a hoodie too.
barnesanova said…
kate is something else. 'nuff said. i totally didn't consider being a woman.. how sexist of me. could be that i'd be an overtly tall sinead o'connor (shaved head, not political views), but i figure i just relate more to the male personas. i agree that zayede is that mac-daddy... and unfortunately, according to internet spoilers, is in failing contract negotiations that may lead to an imminent demise. also, i was never really the 'professor' which is basically the character he seems to personify in 'lost'... with cooler hair.
Andrew H said…
Think about how much Diet Coke that raise is going to buy you!
Fat eSpence said…
I love Francis, and his coconut bombs.